1. Tipping, it’s not just a city in China
Let me just throw this out there in the nicest manner possible. You tip your hair dresser, right? You tip your nail technician, right? You tip your eyebrow waxer, right? You tip your masseuse, right? Well we are all of these things in one visit. Not to mention we brush your dogs teeth, comb out knots, get bit and keep going, deal with the growling and snarling, all while your dog is dancing around on our table. I bet you sit still for your dentist, hair dresser, and so on…well your little pooch does not. No amount of you standing there staring at him telling him to be a good boy will help. My point is, we put up with much more than you think. Fluffy isn’t going to sit still, nor does she want to.
2. When we seem upset, it’s usually not because of you or your dog
Don’t take it personally, but the world does not revolve around you or the new hair cut you got while Bella was getting hers. You, as one person, do not carry the power to throw us completely off. The reality is we have on any given day 5-30 dogs in our salon at a time. Doesn’t sound like that many with 6-12 employees huh? Let me fill you in on a fun fact. While you took 5 hours to get your asymmetrical bob cut to just the right angle, and your highlights brought to just the right tone and shade, your little pom-a-poo had to poop, twice. This means she was washed a total of three times because Bella decided it would be in everyone’s best interest to prance through her gift she left us. Not only do we now have to rewash your little bundle of joy, but we have to wash and sanitize the cage each time as well. This gets frustrating, because guess what? It wasn’t just Bella who had to release herself all over her fresh do, but half of the other dogs too.
3. Designer breeds…
I’m going to break this to you gently. Your dog is not a pom-a-malt-a-peik. I know you may have paid a price tag as cute as the “breeds” name, but sadly Sparky is considered a mutt. Let me break it down even easier. Michael Kors and Dolce and Gabanna did not team up to create “Korsbanna”. Your dog is in our system as whatever is resembles most to us. You may come in with a “malt-e-poo” and we may put it under a shih tzu. It all depends on the type of coat, size, and look of your fur baby.
4. Can you make him look like Boo?
No, no we cannot make your German Sheppard look like the famous Pomeranian.
5. We are not a baby sitter
Yes, we are many things but a baby sitter is not one of them. We would be more than happy, overjoyed even, to give you the name of a doggie daycare. The general gist is you bring Princess in, we make her pretty and we send her on her way. We do not take Princess out for a walk just because 3:17 on the dot is her daily stroll. That is not our job. If you feed your dog at or around 6 pm and Rufus’s appointment is at 5pm, we do not feed him dinner and I can guarantee you he is hungry at 8pm. Just a heads up, if he didn’t already relieve himself in our cages, that little dance he’s doing is not an “I’m so glad your back dance”. That would be the potty dance. So before Rufus jumps in the back seat of your new Buick with leather seats, let him do his business. Otherwise you’ll be getting your car detailed.
6. So you called to see if Milo finished?
Guess what? Everyone else did to. Here’s the breakdown of this one. The owners of Princess, Rocky, Fido, Bella, and Rufus also called to see if their pooches were done as well or when they will be done. I can promise you that when you dropped off your fluff ball, we told you an approximate time and that WE would call YOU to let you know your angel is finished. Every time those phones ring, someone has to put down their dog to answer it, delaying the time it takes to finish Milo. If the phone rings 28 times in the 3 hours we said it would take to have Milo looking as fresh as the ink on the matted release form you signed, we most likely had to take him off of the grooming table at least 6 of those times. If each phone call is 5 minutes long between booking appointments, owners checking on the status of their baby, and so on, that is an extra 30 minutes in just calls that put us behind. I bet a large sum of money on the fact that if owners did not call while their pooch was in our care, they would almost always be out sooner than the time we promised when you dropped them off.
7. We look stressed?
Telling us to smile won’t help. I can guarantee you that whatever we have going on we have under control. With that being said, having Cujo try and attack us every time we clip a nail becomes stressful, on us, on him, and on your dog who is listening to Cujo’s displeasure. There are 20 nails and when they decide to put up a fight it takes longer than 20 seconds to finish cutting them. You are telling me to put a smile on my face while I have a 200 pound beast on my table with a muzzle on him. Smiling is the last thing on my mind. What I’m more concerned with is that dogs safety and whether or not he’s going to tear that muzzle off and possible end me right there. So pardon me if I look stressed, but in situations like that, I’m not concerned with how I look. On the other hand, if I do not have a dog on my table and I am sweeping up hair or answering a call, maybe that’s just the way my face looks. It’s sometimes referred to as resting bitch face. We can’t help it. We can only fake a smile for so long when some people were just born with this issue.
8. Can you leave her as long as possible?
9 times out of 10 when you ask this the answer is no unless you brush her every day. It is with my deepest apologizes and a heavy heart that I have to say Nala has 8 months of mats on her body tugging at her skin. She is in constant pain but does not show it. She has become used to this agony and I nor any other salon member I know, will inflict pain on her by trying to comb them out. I’m sorry but it is in Nala’s best interest to be shaved and start fresh. Why shave her you ask? Because I’m not going to sit there and comb thru each mat that is urine soaked, causing them to rip her delicate skin open. Imagine having one big dread lock on your head. Now imagine me standing over you with a comb for 3 hours pulling and tugging on it endlessly. It would turn into a literal bloody mess with noises that will haunt me for years to come.