“I said yes!”
“52 days until I marry my best friend!”
Sounding obnoxiously familiar? Before this is perceived as your stereotypical “bitter female” rant, let me take a few steps back.
Obviously, there comes a time in our lives where the pressure’s on to settle down and get serious. However, there’s always that weird split in our age group between the bride-to-be and the bout-to-be-kicked-out-of-the-bar.
Essentially, we’re all over the place – and amidst this craziness, we often end up confusing the hell out of ourselves when it comes to romance.
While this occasionally results in us adopting an “IDGAF” attitude and letting the pieces fall where they may, sometimes we try to force things. Other times, we become the swooning 14-year-old versions of ourselves – with just a little more sex-ed knowledge.
During this “limbo,” here are a few crushes that will inevitably develop. While some will last longer than others, one thing is for certain – you’ll probably wish they didn’t appear at all.
1. “One-Date Derek”
You went on one date with this guy, and are automatically convinced he’s your future husband. There’s likely one specific attribute that you have managed to hone in on, and therefore irrationally hyped up. Maybe he has an impressive-sounding job or has some very basic trait that you’re magnifying in your mind. (He likes dogs? #destiny)
Whatever it is, you’re sold – and obviously devastated when you see that he’s still active on Tinder a week after your magical night (which was realistically pretty mediocre.) Never mind the fact that you’re still swiping away yourself to keep your options open. The audacity…
2. “The Work Bae”
He’s not anywhere near your type – but you’re strangely hooked. He staunchly supported your suggestion in a meeting one day, and the rest was history. You would never seriously entertain the idea, but you can’t help fantasizing.
Suddenly you find yourself putting a little more effort into your appearance, and purposely taking the long way down the hall to sneak a peak of him in his office.
Essentially, you’re approaching full stalker mode – but you’re in too deep. This crush will most likely eventually subside, and you’ll look back and laugh about it later. Until then, at least it gives you a boost of motivation to get out of bed in the morning?
3. “The Blast from the Past”
You have a long, confusing history with this guy – and most of it was an absolute train wreck. However, you’re single as hell, so you decide to reconnect mostly out of loneliness and boredom.
Obviously, once you fall back into the trap, you become an old version of yourself – the insecure one who consistently feeds on his approval and attention. You’ll attempt to convince yourself that it’s “different this time” and that he’s who you’re “meant to be with”, even though you know deep down that you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
This crush stings more than the others, as it brings backs feelings you thought you left behind. However, don’t beat yourself up for going down that road again – we’ve all done it.
They say “never let an old flame burn you twice” – but sometimes we scorch ourselves four or five more times just to be sure.
4. “Anti-Relationship Anthony”
Sometimes men will pretend that they’re interested in a relationship, but then slowly back away once things get all too real. Not this guy. He’s has made it very clear up front that he’s all about “having fun” and “keeping things casual” – so naturally, it’s your sole mission to change his mind.
Since we all crave the unattainable, this guy’s commitment-phobia is sexy as hell. He’s a challenge that you’re convinced you can conquer, which will inevitably entail some shameless obsessing.
Much like with the “Blast from the Past”, it takes some time to truly accept the fact that this is a recipe for disaster. Don’t worry, you’ll get there. In the meantime, keep up that “chill girl” persona as long as you can – after all, what kind of monster is honest about what they want?