Intuitiveness is a critical trait to have – particularly when it comes to our major choices or transitions in life. However, while paying attention to that inner voice seems like it should be second nature, it’s just never that simple. We often get side swept by others’ perceptions and convincing words, and inevitably end up doubting our gut instinct.
Unfortunately, once we abandon the idea of trusting ourselves, there’s no going back. And once we realize it, we don’t want to accept it. However, no matter how hard we try to fight them, here are a few signs that will slowly but surely present themselves:
1. You’re constantly making excuses – but when it comes down to it, the hardest person to convince is yourself.
So your parents aren’t exactly huge fans of your significant other. Naturally, your immediate response is to go into teen angst mode, and start pinning wedding dresses on Pinterest. Your cover photo on Facebook is of you two making out, with the caption: “Nobody wanna see us together but it don’t matter no, cuz I got you <3”.
Okay, so that was a bit of an exaggeration (hopefully), but you get the idea. When you’re really into someone, you don’t want to believe the flaws that others point out. And sometimes, these setbacks aren’t enough to reconsider the relationship. However, other times, they are definitely worth paying attention to.
Eventually, you’re starting to think your friends and family might be on to something – but you keep making excuses, because you don’t want to admit it to yourself. In the end, you can keep justifying a shitty situation all you want – but that feeling is going to keep gnawing at you. So you might as well face it, before it bites you in the ass.
2. You’re always on edge – and it’s not the normal kind of anxiety that pops up from time to time. It’s debilitating.
Maybe you decided on grad school – not because you necessarily wanted to, but because it just sort of seemed like the right thing to do. You figured it would help you map out the next step in your weird post-grad limbo.
But suddenly, as you’re sitting in class one day, you can’t help wondering if you did it for the wrong reasons. As you start hearing about your friends’ corporate lifestyles, you start to envy them. You begin to realize that you got caught up in an idea that sounded “right”, and forgot to take time to consider what you truly wanted.
While constantly comparing our lives to others isn’t healthy, sometimes it can actually help you realize may have hopped on the wrong path. So don’t ignore that anxious feeling telling you that you’re not where you’re supposed to be. Honor the inner guidance, and follow it. It’s better to get out now than to be stuck later on.
3. You keep brushing off red flags as “paranoia.”
Your belongings keep mysteriously going missing, and you know your roommate is the culprit. Of course, you want to believe the best in her – so you keep telling yourself you must just be misplacing them. You tell yourself you’ve been overworked and exhausted lately, and you must be putting things in strange places due to your sleep deprivation.
When something is off with someone, you’ll know. There’s a difference between being paranoid and simply being conscious of what’s going on. Don’t ignore blatant signs of shadiness in someone just to salvage a relationship.
None of us want to face the sad realization that people aren’t who we thought they were – but guess what. That’s life. And the earlier we allow ourselves to accept that, the less time we’ll spend hurting later.