It’s usually easy to pinpoint the red flags of a toxic individual – but sometimes, the signs aren’t always there right off the bat. Certain people will lure you in to a friendship or relationship due to their seemingly good qualities, but you’ll slowly face the realization that things are just… off.
The tricky part is that we often cling to these relationships, in hopes that we’re being unreasonably suspicious. We pull the “nobody’s perfect” card, and convince ourselves that these few “minor flaws” aren’t worth ending things completely.
With the risk of advocating too much for “starting the new year off fresh” (cliché AF), this just happens to be a good time to do so. Here I present you with 4 types of people who may not be overtly harmful, but you’ll want to cut ties with sooner rather than later.
The one who has a “way with words.”
Who doesn’t love being told how amazing and perfect they are all the time? Well, this charade gets old when you realize that this person is all-talk and zero action. They might be professing their love for you on the reg, but are they actually actively SHOWING you how much they care? Do you find yourself relying on these sweet sentiments for reassurance, but can’t help that nagging feeling that things aren’t adding up?
It’s easy to get those heart flutters from cute text messages flooded with heart emojis, but sometimes people do that to compensate for what they
don’t actually feel. It doesn’t necessarily mean the person is completely full of shit – but they also might be trying to convince themselves that they are more invested in the relationship than they actually are.
So find the person that not only tells you important you are to them – but also demonstrates that in little ways every day. If you’re second guessing whether someone is in it for real, you’re probably right.
The one who puts you down, but plays it off like a joke.
There are people who are downright disrespectful – and there are others who disguise throwing serious shade as “just messing with you”. Of course, it’s normal to have a comfortable relationship with a close friend where you low-key roast each other, but pay attention to when it starts to feel almost sort of real.
Jealousy and insecurity are both pesky little bitches – and they can lead individuals to resorting to belittling others simply to make themselves feel better. If you feel weird about telling a friend about a work accomplishment or relationship milestone because you know their reaction will be anything but praise, that’s a wake-up call.
Especially as we get older, it becomes increasingly important to surround yourself with people who support you and your aspirations. And if you start to realize that someone is holding you back, it’s time to leave them behind.
The one who opens up – but doesn’t listen.
It’s great to be with someone who’s comfortable with their emotions, and doesn’t shy away from sharing what’s bothering them. You know what’s not so great? When these same people pour their heart out to you daily, but then respond to your own venting with “Lol that sucks.”
Open communication is key in any relationship – but it’s also critical that it isn’t one-sided. At first you’ll feel like the person’s trust for you has grown and your bond is strengthening – but then you’ll question whether you’re being leaned on for emotional support. Don’t let someone take advantage of the fact that you’re a good listener. If you’re not getting the same level of engagement back, go find someone who will open their heart and their ears.
The one who asks a lot of questions – but not for the right reasons.
Many people value a quality conversation – and that involves a healthy balance of sharing your own input and welcoming another’s. That being said, there is also such a thing as asking too many questions – to the point where you start feeling like they are trying to pry information out of you.
Sometimes you’ll just regard these friends or co-workers as super friendly and not look much into it – other times, you definitely should.
Especially in a work environment, be particularly cognizant of the fact that people do have their own agenda – and it’s common to befriend others as means to get ahead.
So be careful who you trust, and think before you share that office gossip with just anyone. As much as we would like to believe in people’s good intentions, the sad truth is that people ultimately look out for themselves.