Instead of constantly pointing the blame at guys for their actions, what if we took a step back and reevaluated our own? We’re not perfect either – and sometimes, we’re just as guilty (if not more) than guys of engaging in somewhat shady behavior.
Here are 5 common actions that we typically attribute to him just being “a typical guy” (in a completely passive aggressive way), failing to recognize the blatant hypocrisy in doing so.
1. Not knowing what it is he wants out of a relationship.
Sure, nobody likes the guessing game – but to be fair, do YOU really know what you want in the situation either?
You might claim that you want to be in a committed relationship, but then find yourself living it up with your single friends and appreciating the notion of not being tied down to one person.
The truth is, we all flip flop back and forth when determining where it is we want to be at a certain point in our lives. It will inevitably hurt when a guy who seemed interested states otherwise, but learn to appreciate that at least he’s being honest – and not tricking you into thinking it’s something more than it really is.
2. Exploring his other options.
So you just came across him on Tinder, and are obviously livid. But hold up – what were YOU doing on there in the first place? It doesn’t make sense to expect a guy to be all about you and only you, when you’re clearly not putting forth the same effort.
In reality, we’re all often scared to commit due to the impending fear of “What if something better comes around?” Having a “back-up plan” isn’t ideal, but our past experiences have often taught us to refrain from putting all of our eggs in one basket. Until we allow ourselves to put all of our trust into one person, it’s not fair to get mad at guys for it.
3. Being guarded about his feelings.
It might be frustrating when your boyfriend seems closed-off or emotionally distant, but trying to drag things out of him isn’t exactly going to turn him into an open book. Unfortunately, women are often perceived as “crazy” or “psycho” when we get slightly emotional. However, because we often try so hard not to come that way, we will bottle up all of our emotions and then inevitably lash out like the crazy person we were trying so hard to avoid.
Guys may not always be open and inviting to sharing their emotions, but getting pouty or giving him the silent treatment isn’t any better. Whether it’s you or your guy who is upset about something, it’s best to just approach it rationally and go from there.
4. Not being in constant communication with you.
Obviously, nothing is wrong with texting all day – but freaking out when he doesn’t respond to your text at the speed of the light? You gotta chill. You might be irritated because you feel like he’s forgetting about you when he’s out with friends, but put yourself in the same situation.
When you’re having a girls’ night, would you want to be the one who’s constantly on your phone and not actually contributing anything worthwhile to the discussion? Chances are, you pay a lot less attention to your phone in these situations as well.
5. Not being Mr. Chivalry 24/7.
Let’s be honest – when you wake up cranky and blame him for breathing too loud all night, you’re not exactly princess material either. They say chivalry is dead, but a Chipotle date over fine dining once in a while doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. Embrace the simplicity in a relationship, and don’t expect too much at all times. When you spend less time focusing on the “fairytale”, you’ll appreciate the relationship for what it is – it’s not perfect, but that’s what makes it worthwhile.