If you consider yourself to be more on the quiet side, there’s a good chance that you’re also intuitive. Quiet people like to observe, analyze, and arrive at conclusions based on the information they take in.
When the topic of quietness came up at a family dinner, my great-uncle actually made this comment about me: “To get words out of Sara, you need a corkscrew.”
It’s also often difficult for extroverted individuals to truly understand that even though our lips our sealed, our mind is swarming with thoughts.
Here are things that all quiet people with loud minds understand:
1. We might seem like we have nothing to contribute, but it’s because we’re carefully planning the words out in our head.
Quiet people are planners. Out of fear of potentially saying the wrong thing, we rarely speak without thinking. Rather than being uninterested in the particular topic, we want to make sure we provide value to it – and that it’s articulated in the best possible way.
2. We can actually be pretty social – it’s just a matter of being surrounded by people we are comfortable with.
We’ll never turn down a night out with our best friends, but hanging out at the bar with people we’re only sorta, kinda friends with? Might have to pass. Since we’re not comfortable enough to discuss very many personal details, the conversation has remained basic and somewhat boring. As we scan our brains for something new to say, we begin to worry that we’re just not fun to be around. At this point, we begin to get even more silent than we were when the night started. We can only awkwardly scroll through our phones so many times before deciding it’s time to call it a night.
3. When you tell us to smile, we really just want to dropkick you.
Sometimes when we are too deep into our own mind, we don’t realize that our face looks disappointed or discouraged. It’s difficult to conceal it, but what’s worse is when a stranger tells you to turn that frown upside down. Please lurk around somewhere else, sir – I haven’t had enough vodka sodas to tolerate you just yet.
4. It’s true that we are great listeners, but sometimes we just want you to stop talking.
You let a friend vent to you about her relationship problems one day, and suddenly you’ve become Dr. Phil. While we do truly care about your friends’ happiness, sometimes the constant chatter is exhausting. Please feel free to confide in us, but recognize when you’re talking just to hear yourself talk. (That also might be why the guy dumped you, just saying.)
5. When we have a crush on someone, we’re not just shy – we forget how to use words altogether.
My go-to move when talking to a cute guy? Laughing at everything he says, blatantly avoiding eye contact, and playing with my hair. It’s super smooth – not sure why I’m still single, to be honest. Regardless, since we’re always overthinking our words and actions, we’re terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing. Relaxing and keeping it cool is just completely out of the question.
6. When it comes to something we’re truly passionate about, we will have A LOT to say.
Our eyes may be glazing over at the pop culture discussion or office rumor, but when it comes to something we’re really interested in? For what seems like the first time ever, you’ll almost want us to shut up. Because quiet people are often insightful, we appreciate having intellectual conversations. Rather than being forced into an inevitably awkward social interaction, we prefer a great conversation. We believe in exchanges with substance – and once the opportunity presents itself, you may realize we’re not so quiet after all.