As the temperatures start to drop, the “come cuddle” texts begin to rise. Why? Because instead of freezing your ass off in line for an overpriced club, you’d rather just stay in and watch Netflix with somebody preferably attractive and fun to be around.
You may have previously mocked the concept of “cuffing season”, and usually pride yourself on not being co-dependent on anybody else. However, suddenly the PDA-heavy couples walking down the street aren’t making you nauseous anymore. Could you actually… (gasp) want that?
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Here are 4 ways that this time of year tricks you into seriously feeling some type of way:
1. You become convinced that your ex-boyfriend from 3 years ago was “the one that got away.”
You’ve probably been listening to Katy Perry a little too often. As a result, as you gaze around at the happy couples frolicking down the street, you are suddenly faced with the irrational thought that this guy was your ONLY chance at being happy. You let him go – and now you’re never going to find that special person.
No wonder I have such bad luck in relationships, you tell yourself, as an imaginary light bulb appears above your head. This is the universe’s way of telling me that I need to be with him.
You then confidently text him “I midss u so mcuhh” (and throw in a few Adele lyrics) at 3:45 AM, confident that this will be your second chance at love.
Best of luck!
2. Holiday parties bring the unavoidable questions from pesky family members about when you’re going to settle down.
So you didn’t bring a bae to Thanksgiving dinner. Cue the painful conversations regarding potential setups, and the ever-so-soothing “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone soon!” Christ.
However, as you chug your wine to tolerate the cringe-worthy discussion, you look over at your 16-year old cousin who’s already practically wifed up, and can’t help feeling a little pathetic.
As your aunt discreetly leans over and murmurs, “It’s okay if you like girls. I won’t tell”, you make a mental note to reconsider those dating apps you despise. You can always tell people you met through friends, right?
3. Although you didn’t think it was possible for social media to be any more infuriating, there are now ice skating pictures captioned with “He caught me when I fell <3”
You’re rolling your eyes in disgust, and justify hitting “like” as a passive-aggressive move, when in reality you can’t deny your envy towards them.
As you recap last week’s ice skating excursion when you promptly fell on your ass and became the object of your siblings’ snap chat stories, you realize that someone catching you when you fall wouldn’t actually be so bad.
4. Christmas music used to fill you with cheer, but now singing along to “All I Want for Christmas Is You” while intoxicated off of peppermint vodka is starting to scare the little kids.
As the jolly songs continue, your desperation begins to expand. As your Grandma stares at you in horror, you stumble down the hallway and announce that you’re heading to the bar.
The day after Christmas, you’re gushing to you friends about the hot guy you kissed under the mistletoe. As you go on and on about his beard, you come to the realization that you may or may not have made out with that creepy guy dressed as Santa.
I guess you were on the naughty list, after all.