1. “He just doesn’t know what he wants right now.”
Please – you know exactly what he wants. Here, I’ll break it down for you. He wants you to come over at 2 a.m. after he’s had no luck hitting on girls at the bar. He doesn’t want to send him a relationship request on Facebook. Simple as that.
So the next time your friends keep pressing you about what you guys “are,” stop feeding them B.S. Eventually, they’re going to realize that the closest thing to a date you’ve been on with him is meeting up for tequila shots at the dive bar. And one of you is going to look pathetic. Here’s a hint: It’s not him.
2. “I could start working out but like…..I’m so busy.”
Many of us work 9-5 jobs, and the thought of huffing and puffing in a crowded gym after finally being granted freedom? Not exactly the most enticing idea in the world. However, if you’re really committed losing weight, getting fit, or just becoming healthier, you have to accept that you need to make sacrifices. If that means waking up at the crack of dawn to get a run in or skipping happy hour, so be it.
Of course, making time for exercise isn’t a piece of cake (And frankly, you probably would rather be scarfing one down one now.) If it were simple, every girl would have the body of Adriana Lima. Regardless, instead of validating your lack of physical activity by the fact that you have “no time”, start delegating a portion of your day to get a workout in. Now that you’ve finished binging season 3 of Orange Is The New Black, you really have no excuse.
3. “I think I might quit drinking.”
LOL. This thought may have crossed your mind during a debilitating hangover, where you woke up missing your wallet, phone, and dignity. You convince yourself that now that you’re out of college, it won’t be as difficult to decline a night of raging.
While it’s true that partying is less prevalent post-college because we actually have real obligations now, alcohol will present itself. And you’re not going to stand on the sidelines like an awkward lurker, watching your friends get plastered and have the time of their lives. If you can have fun without alcohol, more power to you. However, if you’re able to be stone cold sober in a rowdy bar and completely content with strangers spilling their drinks on you all night, please teach me your ways.
4. “He’s a really sweet guy – just not my type.”
More than likely, you’ve thrown in the “not my type” excuse to cover up the reality that that you’re just obsessed with chasing bad boys who treat you badly. Therefore, you are not attracted to the smart, well-mannered guy who could potentially be boyfriend material.
Obviously we’re girls – nice is booooring. You probably suffered through a date with him (while checking out that hot waiter across the room with the tats) and gave him a kiss on the cheek at the end. This act of pity signifies that you clearly tucked him safely away in the friend zone where he belongs. But don’t feel bad – you called him a really sweet guy. Now other girls know not to give him a chance too!
5. “I’ll be ready in 5.”
There’s actually NO way in hell that’s happening. Your hair is still wet from the shower, you haven’t even begun applying your makeup, and you don’t have the slightest clue what you’re wearing.
Why do we lie about this? To make us seem low-maintenance and like the “chill” girlfriend who doesn’t put the maximum amount of effort into their appearance?
Let’s be honest – you want your boyfriend’s friends to be jealous that they’re dating someone as attractive as you – not to look at you, wince, and say “Woof.”
Therefore, It might be time for us to just say “Babe…. I’m honestly going to be another hour.” Promise you’ll make it up to him later – and don’t lie about that too!