While some people detest their jobs with every fiber of their being, others wake up instantly motivated to head to the office and do what they do best. Regardless of your preference toward your current situation, we can all agree on one thing. If you take public transportation, you’re going to have a bad time.
Of course, there are the occasional acceptable days (Such as the other day when I left extremely late, but miraculously made my train just in time? Minus the multiple weird looks I received as I dashed up the escalator in heels, I felt pretty accomplished.) However, often we are forced to deal with inconvenient delays, obnoxious people, overcrowding, and other general annoyances.
Whatever ridiculousness you have been exposed to during your public transportation experience, we have all had negative thoughts at some point throughout our commute. Here are just a few of mine:
1. “For the love of God, please, please, please don’t sit next to me.”
Looking at you, weirdo in the trench coat. There are various seats available, and you decide it’s in your best interest to plop down right next to me? Also, contrary to what you may believe, I actually can see you peering down my shirt out of the corner of my eye.
2. “I hope this woman who keeps squinting her eyes at the map with confusion doesn’t ask me for directions. I just mastered my own route about three days ago.”
Of course, everyone won’t be able to relate to this one. Some of you may actually be street-smart, and have therefore never experienced that crushing moment of panic when you realize you’ve been walking the wrong way for 6 blocks. Needless to say, as a severely directionally challenged person, my heart nearly stops when I hear “Excuse me, ma’am. Could you tell me which stop I should get off at if I’m trying to get to this location?”
How I would like to respond: “First of all, calling me ‘ma’am makes me extremely uncomfortable. Second, unfortunately, although I grew up right outside the city, most of the time I barely know where I’m going myself. Therefore, the directions I give you will be 100 percent inaccurate.”
3. “I am genuinely concerned that the person across from me might be dead.”
Although sometimes I have felt like I could fall asleep on my way home from work, actually allowing yourself to knock out is an entirely different story. Maybe it’s just me, but I personally believe that’s just a recipe for disaster.
Furthermore, I’m not talking about those people who casually doze off, then abruptly snap back to reality every couple of minutes. These are the individuals that look like they just passed out after some heavy alcohol consumption: Mouth wide open, snoring, and generally dead to the world. Do these people ever wake up in panic, realizing that they missed their stop 3 hours ago?
4. “This is hell. I’m moving to a small town with one stoplight.”
At some point during a particularly miserable excursion, I have dreamt of the possibility of living a mere 10 minutes away from my work place, and enjoying a leisurely ride to get there. However, although I’ve toyed with the idea, I have ultimately reconsidered.
Maybe you live smack dab in the perfect area for your field of choice. Or maybe despite the nightly 2 a.m. street noises and the rude people you often encounter on the street, you really couldn’t dream of living anywhere else.
The bottom line is: Although public transportation has caused us to consider stabbing ourselves with a pen at times, many of us can agree that city life is generally worth it.
5. “Are we there yet?”
Remember when you were a child, and were forced to take long car rides with your family? At the beginning, you were content. You had your coloring books, your Disney soundtrack, and an unlimited supply of snacks. You were on top of the world.
However, slowly but surely, you felt yourself getting increasingly antsy. Maybe you whined a little bit, or maybe you threw a full-fledged temper tantrum.
Unfortunately, in adulthood, when you learn that your train is delayed and you will most likely be late for your important meeting, wailing in agony isn’t exactly socially acceptable. Similarly, as your claustrophobia heightens due to being forced to stand squished between others, you can’t really tell the man taking up two seats to try a salad sometime.
Although you are keeping it together on the outside, your inner child just wants your mommy to tell you that there are only 15 minutes left. (By the way, whenever she told you 15 minutes, she really meant 45. It’s not like you could tell time.)
Overall, public transportation is no picnic. However, all you can do is turn your music up, attempt to zone out, and pretend that you can’t feel other people’s sweat dripping on you.
Have a great day at work!