Clubbing is almost like going to the zoo—so many different kinds of people and crowds. The next time you go out, see if you can spot one of these species at the club. Bet you’ll find at least two.
1. The Savage
He thinks it’s OK to grab you, pull you, and touch you any way he wants. You usually find him by walking to a bathroom or patio. He grabs you and pulls with the intensity of a black hole. He’s usually scary-looking and expressionless. He will pounce at you before you know it.
2. The Bro
ALWAYS with his buddies, flexing, wearing some skin-tight T that would comfortably fit a six-year-old girl. Usually seen fist-pumping, jumping, getting really into the music, and maybe even yelling “Brroooooooooo!”
3. The Watcher
There is no other way to describe the guy; he just stands there and STARES all night as if you’re his prey. No break in eye contact, no approaching—just staring.
4. The Guy Who Thinks He’s Famous
Whether he met Drake one time at a party through a friend’s friend or has 4,000 Instagram followers, he thinks the party started when he walked in. He’s usually seen taking pictures with his bottle, or with girls—or with his bottle and girls—all night. Even though he’s a nobody, this guy literally thinks he is famous. The peacock of the club.
5. The Hot Foreign Guy
Always ridiculously hot, nice, and perfect in every way—but just visiting. Always.
6. The Guy Who Won’t Give Up
He just keeps trying. Even if you have told him flat-out no, yelled, or used some bodily force, he will try to dance with you every time you’re near him as if he has never seen you before. He’s like a seagull trying to get the Cheetos beside you at the beach.
7. The Guy Who Has A Blast Dancing By Himself
He does not care if anyone is watching; he is into the music and isn’t going to stop. His dance moves rarely allow him to blend into the crowd.
8. The Awkward Friend
He’s usually dragged to the club because one of his friends wanted to go. You feel bad for this guy because he looks super uncomfortable.
9. The Guy Who’s Full Of Himself
He’s too good for everyone and acts bored of the place. Sure, he is good-looking, but how is it possible for a person to not make eye contact with anyone in the room the whole night? How long can you stare at the floor and the walls?