Everything I Ever Needed To Know, I Learned From Full House

Well, almost everything.  The show premiered when I was only a year old, so I mostly caught up watching re-runs a few years later in the early ‘90s. 

Now a real life “grown-up” in my late twenties, I look back on all of those life lessons not-so-subtly hidden in each episode and think to myself, “Hmm… was this show slowly shaping me to be the person I am today?”  Nah, I’d like to give that credit to my parents, but maybe, just maybe my “TV family” helped a little along the way, too.         

Now let me tell you something, Full House is a totally different show when you’re five glasses of wine in, 27 years old, and now you get how Stephanie’s friend Charles got that black eye.  Re-watching episodes late at night has become a great distraction from doing two weeks’ worth of laundry that’s strewn across my bedroom floor.  It also reminds me of all of the teachings it had once bestowed upon my little pre-teen brain, such as:

1. You should never even sit in the driver’s seat of a car because there is a slight possibility you will somehow manage to drive that car through your kitchen window.  Always remember, “R” does not mean “radio”.

2. “Life is not a competition, things happen when they are meant to”.  This is not one of those inspirational quotes we pin on our Pinterest board these days, that’s an Aunt Becky original!

3. The Beach Boys are really chill dudes, because not even fame stops them from paying Uncle Jesse a visit at home to jam for a bit in the living room.

4. I was right in thinking I should avoid going to spin class, because nothing good can come from working out that hard.  I mean, look what all that cardio did to DJ Tanner when she was trying to get bikini-ready for that pool party!

5. A job at a local morning television show must be the greatest gig out there!  Working as a booking producer for Wake Up, San Francisco! must have been a breeze with comedian Joey Gladstone on stand-by and recurring musical guest Jesse and the Rippers ready to fill in at a moment’s notice.

6. To this day, Rebecca Donaldson is the only person I know from Nebraska.  And yes, that character is real in my mind and I know her and don’t take that fantasy away from me.

7. Having a little bit of OCD is completely acceptable.  Y’all can crack jokes all day about the fact that I like to perfectly line up everything in my refrigerator based on color and size, but if Danny Tanner gets away with it, why can’t I?

8. If I get ever pregnant, I know that feeding my baby-daddy finger foods is not the best way to break the news.  However, it’s a way more creative idea than a gender-reveal cake, gotta give credit to Aunt Becky for that.  I also know that if one day I do find myself pregnant and living in an attic of a house I do not own, it’s not totally rock-bottom.  Jesse and Becky’s attic apartment was WAY more spacious than my New York City walk-up and I’m pretty sure they lived there rent free.

9. No matter how many tantrums I threw as a child, running to my room and slamming my door would never result in a hug and heart-to-heart from my Dad while somber music played in the background.

10. I will never get married because any wedding I would have will never be as romantic as Jesse singing “Forever” to Becky.  Nothing.