10 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Teenage Self

1. Saving money is more important than you think.

Your parents aren’t telling you to save money because they are tired of lending you $20 to fill up your car’s gas tank.  They are trying to make sure you are financially independent one day so you do not end up a 28 year old who eats cereal for dinner every night while living paycheck-to-paycheck because you chose to spend your cash on over-priced vodka sodas last weekend.   Side Note:  A 401K is something you should learn about and start investing in as early as possible if you want to retire one day.

2. You have no idea what real love is.

You may think you are in love…but you are not.  You will date a lot of losers, liars, and even some nice guys before you actually fall in love.  Learn from every relationship you’ve had and move on.  Every guy you date is not your potential husband.  Side Note:  Don’t worry, years from now you will never even think about that time your high school boyfriend wouldn’t take you to the junior prom because he was too cheap to rent a tux.  He’s probably still living in his mom’s basement.

3. Working really hard in school will pay off.

You might not want to do your homework because you think watching re-runs of ER on TNT is a much more productive way to spend your time, but doing well in school sets off a chain reaction.  It affects what colleges you get into, what job offers come your way, which in turn affects your real adult life, AKA the real world everyone talks about.  Side Note:  You will never need to use Algebra, ever.

4. Do not be a bitch.

You may want to be one of the “cool kids”, but if that group of people thrives on making fun of others, get out.  You might want to consider being nice to the under-dog, the computer geek, or the theater nerd; those are the kids that grow up to be loyal friends, run corporations, and win Emmys.  Side Note:  When you become an adult, no one cares if you were cool in high school.

5. Thank your parents.

You can never say “thank you” enough.  Trust me.  Not only will they have to deal with you as you go through puberty, which is an award-winning fete in itself, but they will also financially support you for 18 years.  They will stop what they are doing to pick you up from every after-school activity and lacrosse game.  Every vacation they will take you on costs more than you could imagine, so appreciate it, and thank them for it.  Side Note:  They will pay for you to go to college for four years.  This is not something they have to do, don’t forget that.

6. Get over it.

You might think the world is ending because your parents won’t let you wear that crop-top tank top to your friend’s graduation party.  You may scream “I HATE YOU!” to your mom when she won’t let you get your belly button pierced for your 15^th birthday.  You need to chill out, and get over it.  Side Note:  Learn that life isn’t fair, and having to wait five months for your bangs to grow out because you got a bad haircut is not what I’m talking about.

7. Maintaining a friendship takes work.

Make a point to realize which friendships are lasting and work really hard on those.  Try to recognize when you’re pulling your weight and the other person is not.  Side Note:  You will lose touch with the person you thought would be your “bestie” forever.  It happens, it’s okay.  In the future, someone will invent something called Facebook, use this to keep in touch with them.

8. Eat healthy.  

You can go through your teens consuming a sleeve of Oreos every day and feel no affects.  This will not last.  Garbage food like this will make you gain weight that is harder and harder to lose the older you get.  Side Note:  Microwaving queso in a mug is not an acceptable after school snack.

9. Losing your virginity is not that big of a deal. 

You will have sex eventually.  You will have sex with someone that you are most likely not going to marry. It will probably be in some sketchy place; like the basement of your boyfriend’s parent’s house, or in some guy’s childhood bedroom on his twin bed.  It will be awkward and the least romantic thing you will ever do.  Side Note:  Be smart.  Your health teacher isn’t just making up STDs and teen pregnancy to mess with you.

10. Stop comparing yourself to others. 

How a person acts when they’re in public is most likely an edited version of what their lives and emotions are really like when no one is watching.  Side Note:  You will end up making better choices than a lot of the people you will meet during your high school career, so have some confidence.