The Agonizing Remains Of A Traveler’s Heart

Unsplash, Zach Betten
Unsplash, Zach Betten

There is a gut wrenching, mind twisting, and skin tightening feeling when a traveler’s heart loves. There is a constant tug from one side of your brain to the other, pulling you to places, people, things, adventure, or whatever might satisfy the wanderers hunger inside you.

But what you find is temporary satisfaction, like a drug, expanding the colors and illustrations unfolding in your brain, only to be wiped clean and left dull when the high has passed.

When you travel, you leave parts of your heart in the cracks of the streets of the cities you visit, in the hands of people you loved, and in each of the things you touched. When so many pieces of you are left straggling in places you didn’t mean to leave them, you have no choice but to mourn your losses, for you’ve left a part of you there.

You’ve replaced those pieces with museum and concert tickets, receipts of things you bought, and pictures of faces and personalities you’ll never forget. You try to fill those empty rooms in your soul by visiting more places and by meeting more people. You try wedging in new hobbies, jobs, and foods in the crevices of your already full schedule to ease your anxiety-ridden core. But you can’t brighten a dark sky with only a few stars.

The feeling of loss is always with you. The aches in your bones and itchiness of your skin is a burden you live with.

You always feel like you’re missing something, because you are. You suffer from real loss – the loss of satisfaction.

For someone to feel the eccentric levels of love and happiness at any given moment, they must endure the lowest levels of pain and suffering. For you, in the deepest pits and in the darkest shadows of your soul is where the brightest star lives.

Going back or going home won’t fix this. The patch-up work you’ve started lays abandoned with the prospects of deep relationships you intended to keep. But this is it, this is the moment – the very moment you realize that the love and happiness you’ve shared has come across well, across the world.

You’ve touched the spirits of souls similar to yours and the colors of your stories have intertwined. You have gained lovers and friends across the globe, ones you will always share extraordinary memories with.

This is why the aches are worth it.

Keep searching for that satisfaction. Your free-spirited hungry soul will take longer than most to find it, but it will. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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