The idea is to do things that make you uncomfortable. You may be totally lost as to what you’re doing, for more than a couple months, or six months, or maybe even longer than a year. Or maybe it will never be okay; maybe there will always be something new to accomplish, or some demon to overcome, but every day you will be trying. And I’m not sure if there’s a worse thing than not trying.
I cannot write about this in an objective manner, I can only write from personal experience. And from these personal experiences, I have realized some things. Like, you can waste months and months of your life smoking pot and lying in bed. And you can go about your day with the promise of getting drunk later in your mind, but your missing something if that’s really a NEED that will make your day worthwhile. Or you can pretend that relationships based on selfishness and reciprocity are healthy, but in the end you’re simply lying to yourself because of a fear of trying something new.
And because age limits the number of experiences I have, I could be completely wrong. However, I believe that if I don’t make changes in my own life I will regret it, regret not trying what I want to try. And that’s why I identify things that decrease my ability to live passionately. It’s something I have begun to try in the last couple of years and I think it’s been more worthwhile than I even realize. I believe I would not have changed for the better, the way I pray I have.
I’ve realized it’s harder to notice changes for the better; but I can remember that gnawing feeling that I wasn’t growing. I wasn’t trying enough. I was settling. And let me get one thing clear, I don’t believe you are supposed to spend your whole life chasing goals. Or maybe you are. I don’t really know. I am young, I am naive, and I am unknowing. But that’s exactly why I think you cannot settle for a passionless existence, because you don’t know! You don’t know what else is out there for you! You don’t know what else you can accomplish! You don’t know who you can save!
You can’t settle for this is good enough. You have to try with all your heart, and make others want to be better and make yourself want to be better because you are the only person in the world that is here. You are here. No one else that is you is here. So you’re completely meant to do something great, even if it is hard, or seems implausible. Find something that makes you feel like your could hover off the earth, even for a moment.
Find something that makes you feel self-actualized and provides you joy. Pray that you will find an outlet for your passions, or be a maverick and create your own. Find a million little passions, ones you can revel in each day, which provide you with a sense of purpose. Because you’re meant to DO things, and be uncomfortable, and get better, you’re not simply alive to steal oxygen from the trees.