I sat with the thought of how to sum up this year for a long time. What growth, love, being human, and life meant through the eyes of 2020 and how the extreme conditions this year threw at us transformed us. In all honesty, I thought about how to say anything about you, 2020, that wasn’t remotely hateful, because I did hate you for a long time. And in the beginning, hating you was so much easier than facing the inevitable truth: that life operates as a storyline way out of our grasp, and despite thinking we’ve distilled all the possible lessons of whatever situation we’re caught in, we might still have more to learn.
But the thing is, as life pushes us to the edge, maybe, just maybe, we find the courage to embrace endings, to embrace change, and to start asking, What does life want from me? And in the process we realize that all along we’re becoming and moving forward toward who we’ve always dreamed of being. Because 2020, in your own twisted, mysterious way, you turned out to be quite magical. And despite it all, despite all the ways this year made the ground crumble under our feet, I want to look back with gratitude for all the ways this year also opened our eyes to worlds that needed to live in the light. So, 2020, thank you for being different.
Thank you for giving us the perspective that comes with the space to sit with what’s alive inside us without a million shiny things fighting for our attention. The perspective that comes with finding the courage to sit in discomfort and allow ourselves to grow past our current shade of reality. Thank you for reminding us of the multitudes within our lives. For the in-between moments where nothing appears to be happening, yet everything is happening under the surface. Because so often we get caught up in life’s electric moments that we forget about the stars coming out every night, even when the world is all hazy and all we can see are dark clouds.
Thank you for bringing light to all the tense spots within our collective human body. For giving us time to breathe in fresh air to these spaces and start the conversations that will move us towards resolving them. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about finding the one world we can all exist in, but a way for all the multitudes of worlds that’s alive inside and outside our lives to coexist. Thank you for challenging us to see past our own world, for expanding the boundary between who we think we are and who we can be. Thank you for reminding us that possibilities aren’t short in stock, that even when the world shuts down, we can find new doors to open, new worlds to build. That holding on is no longer a question, because the world is ready to let go. We’re ready to let go and write the next chapter in this human storyline.
Thank you for giving us the space to realize we can’t ignore the world inside us. That the state of our headspace is as important as the space around us. That being able to hold space for all that’s alive within us creates space for all this in the world. Thank you for allowing us to check in on the weather in our brain. For giving us the time to feel, to discover, and to accept parts within ourselves we don’t normally give life. Thank you for making us brave enough to go there. For making us see that beauty isn’t static, that all our dents and scratches crash light into our soul, and in daring to live, we become beautiful. Thank you for reminding us of the strength in being ourselves, that standing in our own power and using our voice to fight for others to be free to do the same is within our reach. Because at the end of the day, healed people heal people.
And thank you for all the ways we’ve survived this year. Despite all the ways we’ve lost or been separated from our loved ones, we’re still breathing in air every day. Thank you for teaching us to hold ourselves and not shy away when the next emotional tide wave threatens to crush us. Thank you for reminding us about the most important connection in our lives: the one we keep with ourselves. For remembering that loneliness is human and we can survive that too. Thank you for all the ways we’ve learned to love our loved ones from a distance. Even though we want to wrap our limbs around them to keep them safe, loving them means giving them space to love and stand up for themselves. Because loving someone also means loving them loving themselves. It means holding space for all the human and heavenly shades of them, for the magic that makes them real and for the magic that makes you real.
So, thank you, 2020, for being different! For making us see that there are so many ways to live our lives and that we, only we, can decide what that means for us. I know we still have a long way to go. If anything, this year is just a beginning, and there’s more than enough to wrap our minds around years to come. But if you’re reading this, I hope that when the clock strikes midnight this new year, you have the courage to leap. To move forward into the new year with trust and hope despite the uncertainty. I hope you have the courage to take with you the perspective and the growth this year has brought us. Because regardless of all the ways this year has been the worst for most of us, so many good things, so many beautiful and life-changing things, have come out of it too. And most of all, I hope you have the courage to keep living with your heart wide open, because we need you; if anything, 2020 has taught us that every single one of our lives and every single one of our voices matter, and it’s up to us to make use of them.
Happy New Year!