You don’t know me, but trust me I know a hell of a lot about you. You have all the charms and qualities of a happy person. It’s no wonder that all this coming out would have you enraged. Let’s start of stating the facts, you probably don’t like me and that is okay. I can imagine why and let’s be real I pretty much walked myself into that. However, know that I am only human and I fuck up too. I’m single and everything that happened had no negative impact on my life or my relationships, until now. We had a history and he’s like a drug, how does one just let go of something like that, I wanted to be wanted, I wanted someone to choose me, to love me, but it came about in all the wrong ways.
Looking back, it’s obvious that wasn’t even what happened. My mind was so clouded that I couldn’t see the real repercussions that would soon be heading my way. As much as I’ve beaten myself up about what happened, it’s over and I can’t do anything to take it back. I’m sorry, truly I am, but that doesn’t stop the pain that I have caused and I know that. I’ve walked in your shoes and it sucks and being blindsided with it hurts even more. Just because this all came out doesn’t mean you have to sit around justifying every aspect of your relationship. It’s all your choice. You choose what you want to do and how you want to react. I can’t control that, he can’t, and neither can anyone else who happened to insert themselves into this situation that has absolutely nothing to do with them.
This is a learning moment that is for sure. I’m usually such a private person, and I told this secret of sorts to someone in confidence, trying to figure it out for myself. That person didn’t realize that not telling anyone meant actually telling no one. Therefore, I am sorry for the middleman involved, because I hate having my life portrayed to those uninvolved and I can only imagine that you feel the same way.
We have never been friends, I’m not sure if we have even met before, and I know that we never will be. There’s too much baggage there and that is aokay, but for your own good. Don’t let this be fixed. Fix yourself, heal yourself, love yourself. A man never truly loves if he cheats. That can be such a hard pill to swallow, but it is the truth and without it how can you ever be set free?
So I end with this. Know that I am eternally sorry for the pain I’ve caused. Realize the importance of letting go so that you can move on and get better. Understand that it was nothing that you did to cause this. It was just shitty timing and a bad situation. And finally, rely on the support system that you have around you and know that they are there for you through thick and thin.