I’m Sorry My Rape Ruined Your Birthday

Patrick Humphries
Patrick Humphries

My therapist told me today I needed to get angry. It seems odd for someone to say that to me two days after being sexually assaulted but I think she’s right.

I’m angry.

I’m angry that once again I have been taken advantage of. You see somehow my being tall, blonde, and skinny has apparently given men a right to my body that I didn’t give to them. My whole life I have been touched, cat called, kissed, felt up, molested. Now we can add raped to the list.

I am angry.

I am angry that instead of being there for me, you made this about you. You turned around and told my boyfriend I wanted this to happen. That I cheated on him. That I ruined your birthday and you “thought he had the right to know.” You also have the right to know that what you are doing is harassment, bullying, slut shaming, and victim blaming. I’m sorry my rape ruined your birthday. I was drunk, and scared, and alone and you turned your back on me.

I am angry.

I now know why women do not come forward when assaulted. I now know why women kill themselves when they are assaulted. At someone’s lowest point they are made to feel as if they asked for this. That they wanted this. That they brought this upon themselves.

I am angry.

I am fortunate enough to be in a community that has been supportive. The hospital staff was phenomenal and nonjudgmental. The police have been kind and sincere. My boss’ first concern when I told him what happened was to make sure I was somewhere safe. My friend came to the ER and sat for hours with my parents even though they wouldn’t let them in to see me. I am angry that not every woman has this experience. In a world full of Brock Tuner’s it is hard to imagine your story being taken seriously. It is hard to imagine that anything good can come out of your situation.

This makes me fucking angry.

I am more than this. I am a nurse. I am a mother. I help people on a daily basis. I wake up and save people’s lives for a living. Today I just happen to be starting with my own.

Today I will be angry. TC mark

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