A Few Lessons You Can Learn From Temporary People

They say people come into your life for a reason. Some are meant to stay, others are just temporary. When someone comes into yours, you may start imagining and hoping for a forever with them, even though everything is telling you they are never going to stay. It doesn’t matter how much you try, how much you care, how strong you feel about them. It doesn’t matter if they were an almost or a never. It can Iast enough and it can mean enough to change you and teach you a few lessons about yourself, life, and love.

1. Emotions are not measured in time but you can save time if you learn how to manage them.

It can take a second to fall head over heels for someone. It can take years for someone to never develop feelings for you. You may want them to be your forever every day when they may only want a night or a month or a year of you. You are entitled to feel this way, no matter the type of relationship or the time you spent with this person.

There is nothing you can do about that, but you can choose to learn and grow from it and become better at managing your emotions. You can learn how to invest in the right people, the ones that are meant to stay. Your forever people. Your forever person. Those who deserve your attention, your love, your advice, your sacrifices, your devotion. Those who appreciate you, who acknowledge your past, live in your present and want to be part of your future.

2. You are your forever person.

The first person who deserves your love, attention and devotion is you. When you are pouring too much of yourself into someone else, you are choosing to ignore you, the only person who is going to stay in your life forever. And you are going to lose yourself in the process.

It’s easier to work on other people’s problems than look inside of yourself and really take care of you. But the longer you neglect yourself, the harder it is going to hit you in the face and wake you up in dramatic and upsetting ways.

You are not a supporting actor in somebody else’s story. You are the protagonist of your own life and deserve the spotlight.

3. Don’t ever change to make someone stay

When we feel strongly about someone, we would do anything for them. We would put them first, question ourselves, settle, accept less than ideal behavior, make excuses for them. Forever people would never require you to do that. When you are bending too much to make something work, you know you are doing this for a temporary person who is just meant to teach you how wrong that is.

Anyone who is making you question your beliefs, your needs, your values because they would not stay otherwise is not worth changing for. Someone who does not appreciate you and recognize your greatness won’t start doing so just because you are changing into a version of yourself that suits their needs more than yours.The person who is going to stay for good will fit right in will find their place in your life. You won’t have to give up anything of yourself, and even if you do, it will be for the better not the worst.

4. There are no mistakes, only lessons learned.

When you are disappointed, hurt, and not in the place you would like to be, it’s easy and tempting to look back and try to understand where it all went wrong. What mistakes you made along the way that brought you where you are now, that made you go through such painful times. We are the choices we make and we take decisions for ourselves all of the time. You need to trust that those decisions are taken with the best possible knowledge you have available at that time. Being confident, brave, and vulnerable in your decisions is never going to be a mistake even if that brings you pain.

The mistake would be dwelling on the negative and self-destructing thoughts; the mistake would be letting the disappointment and hurt of an unrequited love turn you into a bitter, non-forgiving, resentful, and hopeless human being.

Sometimes, temporary people can mean more than forever ones. They can turn your world upside down, they can make you feel things you never thought you had in you, they can write the most significant, heartbreaking, inspiring chapter of your life. That’s why they came into your life: It was never their intention and purpose to stay forever.

About the author
introvert with a passion for people and relationships. Follow Sara on Instagram or read more articles from Sara on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related