We Only Accept The Things We Think We Deserve

A teenager looks out the window with a hand on mouth and elbows on the railing.
胡 卓亨 / Unsplash

One of my favorite quotes is by Stephen Chbosky and I heard it while watching a great movie that I definitely recommend which is The Perks Of Being A Wallflower.

“WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE”

I’ve always loved this quote because I think it is applicable not only to love, but to every aspect of every day. If we replace the word “love” with the word “respect” or “salary” or “life,”the concept still applies.

In a professional scenario, thinking that we accept the salary we think we deserve is a great way to push ourselves to negotiate, to decline an offer because underpaid, to leave a job because we feel unappreciated financially, amongst other things. In our twenties, we spend a lot of time doubting ourselves and I know that I, like many others, tend to sell myself short very often. It should not be that way. We should walk into any interview knowing what we bring to the table and instead of looking at it as us begging for their attention and for a position in their company, we should think of the value we would add by being apart of their team. It is true that you will never get what you don’t ask for and that is why we should ask for more money, if the salary we are being offered does not cover our bills, and we should demand respect if the work we are putting in is not being recognized. Being young and less experienced does not make us useless or worthless and that is something I forget easily and I know many of my friends forget as well.

In love and in life it’s all the same. We accept mediocre relationships because we think we cannot do any better, that it’s better to be with him/her than to be alone. We settle into a boring life, a 9-5 job, long commutes in the car, weekdays spent waiting for the weekend, Sundays spent dreading Mondays, because we do not dare to ask for more. Turning your back to the prospect of a comfortable relationship, or a comfortable lifestyle, is not going to be easy, but as far as I am concerned it has always been worth it. In our twenties, as we enter the long phase of life that adulthood is, we should be thinking that we deserve the once in a lifetime kind of love, crazy love, deep love, head over heels love, and a life that is thrilling, and interesting, and a bit messy but intense. If you wake up in the morning and decide that you deserve mediocrity well then you might just get it, and that is okay, if that’s what you want!

Believe in the power of your thoughts, as people perceive you as you perceive yourself and will act accordingly. We accept everything we think we deserve. TC mark

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