You’re a lucky girl to have fallen into the clutches of the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful hurricane of a man. You’ll fall for his cheeky antics, his piercing intellect and sparkling eyes. You’ll be enthralled by his multitude of skills, the glowing aura of his perfect life and the unlikely combination of someone so laughably juvenile and so mature at the same time. You’ll fall for him the only way you can fall for someone so utterly electric: hard, fast and completely out of your own control; against any better judgment you may have. You’ll fall for him the same way I did.
He’ll sweep you off your feet, treat you like an absolute princess and your cheeks will hurt from smiling whenever you’re with him. His mother will welcome you with open arms when you set foot in their lovely apartment, and you will look at him and wonder how you ever felt at home anywhere else other than in his arms. You will enter into his elusive world of perfection and you may feel insufficient as a result – the same way I felt for a long time. You may be a little embarrassed to explain this to him, but he’ll kiss the words straight off your lips before you can say anything. He’ll caress the base of your neck with his fingers, hold you close and reassure you that you are the best part of him; that you are the reason he wakes up happy every morning. Every cinematic romance will be brought to life when you’re with him; that’s what you get for dating a movie buff who knows exactly how to turn any regular date into an authentic, unique memory for the two of you to cherish and look back on fondly.
Make sure you text him often. They don’t have to be long, elaborate messages, but every few hours, remind him that you’re thinking of him and that you love him. Make little stories out of emojis for him to decipher and let him know when funny things happen so you can share a giggle together later on.
Write to him, for him and about him. Write him letters when you’re apart, write him emails when you’re in classes and can’t take out your phone but are on your computer, write poetry and short stories and random prose entries on Tumblr. There’s this quote that I really love: “I can’t even begin to express how much I love you, but I’m perfectly happy to spend the rest of my life trying to find ways to show you the extent of my love for you.” So be creative; let each new day be a new opportunity to show him how much he means to you. He likes reading – especially things that you write him.
Make plans to travel together. His is a soul drenched in wanderlust; nothing excites him more than the prospect of hopping on a plane with the girl he loves and exploring a new country, culture and place with the person who comprises his other half. If you can’t travel together, then talk about it and dream about it and plan for it anyway, because talking and dreaming bring two people closer together. The day may just come, and when it does, you’ll be glad you spent those hours pondering the incredible possibility of running away together, even if just for a short while.
Make sure you support him. He’ll get stressed about work, family or his future, so lie down beside him and hold him the way you like to be held. Cuddling is important for the soul. Whisper soothingly in his ear that he has nothing to worry about, because he is the brightest, most capable individual the world has ever seen and that everything will be okay in the end. Make him Moroccan Mint Tea and piping hot oatmeal with lots of maple syrup – those are his favorites for bad days. Give him a backrub, watch Parks and Recreation with him under the covers and kiss his forehead to make him smile. Because seeing him smile makes everything worth it.
He’ll enchant you in new ways each day; from the adorable way he plays with his teacup poodles to the banter exchanged between him and his little brother, you’ll realize that what you’re feeling isn’t selfish affection for someone in exchange for their love for you, but an unshakeable type of love; an unconditional, fearlessly wholehearted adoration for another human being.
And that feeling will probably never leave you, because it hasn’t left me.
He broke my heart, and as much as I tried to hate him for it, I knew I couldn’t bring myself to do so. I was his first girlfriend, his first (real) kiss and his first time. We had a magical twenty-two month relationship, most of which was endured over long-distance. There were tough times, but they were honestly few and far between. We enjoyed a lengthy stint of the greatest memories, the loudest laughs, the most spontaneous of moments and the most honest of midnight conversations, all made possible by the steadfast commitment we shared to one another despite the distance between us. It was possibly the best twenty-two months of my life, and I will never forget the lessons I learnt and the memories I made along the way with someone who I will never fully be able to say goodbye to. It was a hard time for me when he ended things between us, and we both made a lot of mistakes in the aftermath of the breakup. I don’t mean to sound patronizing by saying this, but I blame many of his mistakes on the simple fact that he had never been in a relationship, and therefore never experienced a breakup before. I blame my mistakes on rash emotional misjudgments and the inevitable, painful bitterness that is experienced by any dumpee.
He’s a very private person, and now that I’ve been directed towards the exit doorway of his life, I no longer get the privilege of sharing in his inner whims and personal life. I’m a stiff acquaintance who hardly scratches the surface of his life, but I can’t forget all the magic I once knew underneath. You’re so lucky to have access to the inner workings of his wonderful mind, his daily musings, his ever-changing landscape of hopes, dreams, interests and ambitions. The more you learn about him with each coming day, the more of him you’ll have to love, and that sense of endless discovery is one of the most priceless things about him.
You’re a lucky girl to have fallen into the clutches of the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful hurricane of a man, but guard your heart, darling. Hurricanes whirl in one direction: inwards and onto themselves, often without room for anyone else.