It may not seem like it now, but I know I will find love again.
I’m certain of it. The days may seem cold, and the atmosphere bitter, but I’m certain there are warmer and sweeter months ahead for me. My fractured heart will eventually heal; gradually mending its broken pieces with each second that passes. The throbbing ache in my chest will subside, and a newfound strength will take over. As time lapses, fragments of my old self will resurface, ultimately overshadowing the unrecognizable stranger once in its place.
There will come a day when your voice no longer resounds in my head and the mention of your name ceases to sting when said aloud. Sleepless nights. spent gazing at old photographs will become a thing of the past, and the tears I’ve wasted, quietly sobbing into my pillow will soon dry. I’ll eventually learn to forgive you for the great amount of hurt you caused, silently wishing you well each time your memory invades my thoughts. I will become reacquainted with being independent, making myself a priority and putting myself before anyone else.
Then, once my grieving period is complete, and my past is officially behind me, the universe will introduce me to someone spectacular. At first, I’ll be wary towards this individual. I’ll mentally question his motives and hide behind the ironclad walls I’ve spent hours assembling. Just a series of consequences I’ve endured from loving you.
But as days turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months, I’ll slowly begin to emerge from the emotional confinement I have subjected myself to. It’ll be subtle at first. The ease of a laugh. The comfort of a touch. The simplicity of a smile.
It’ll feel effortless and unforced. Painfully similar to how it was with you; yet different somehow. Brick by brick, this new individual will gently dismantle the barricade which houses my heart. He’ll ask questions you never did and surprise me in ways you never could. He’ll be considerate of my feelings, understanding they’re delicate; not a toy one carelessly plays with. He’ll be patient with me, cautiously repairing the lacerations left behind by you.
He’ll be genuinely curious about things which interest me and make an effort to keep me by his side regardless how difficult things get. There’ll be no grey area of uncertainty in regards to his feelings for me, simply because he’ll continually be upfront; reiterating his feelings every chance he gets. He’ll support me in every aspect of my life and hold my hand throughout dark moments of uncertainty and fear.
Most importantly, he’ll envelop me in a love which I’ve never known. It will be authentic, unconditional and true; vastly different to how it was with you.
I hold onto this belief merely because I have to. I need to believe you didn’t permanently break me. That I still have more to give. I need to believe you weren’t my final destination, but an instructive detour on my way towards something better.