He knew from the moment we kissed. The way our lips moved together, perfectly in-sync evoking chain of emotions from us that took us past the realm of reality.
The way his dark brown eyes stared into mine, slowly extracting secrets that I had hidden carefully beneath my bold façade, I knew it was too late to take things slow.
This time round there would be no first dates because everything had been said during those 4a.m conversations. There would be no awkwardness because you’d have already seen me walk like a newborn giraffe, trying to break into a new pair of heels on a Saturday night. There would be no suppressed anger because we’d have already hurled a row of angry insults at each other when nothing made sense.
Instead this time round we’d be that couple that exchanged secret smiles across a dinner table amongst a group of strangers because our favorite song played on the radio.
Our lips would form a small ‘o’ and our eyes would glisten as we’d recall the time we drunkenly sang ‘ Wannabe’ by Spice Girls at a random Karaoke bar during our second year in college. This time we’d say things to each other that would break us down, but then we’d heal together. This time round things would be different because we would’ve known each other at a level that goes past your usual first date.
You see our love was the type that was built for this chaotic generation. It was exciting and fierce, yet thoughtful and caring.
He loved having a routine with a sense of stability embedded into it. The simple things like a warm chai latte or a carrot slice from the bakery round the corner brought him joy. But I was a wanderer. A reckless spirit that left you confused but yearning for more because you liked how I challenged your simplistic views.
I brought a whole train of adventure with me that threatened to knock those stable pillars right out from beneath you.
You knew the consequences of loving someone like me, but you loved me hard and you loved me well. You helped me make calculated decisions and brought about a sense of stability in my life that I didn’t know I needed. Along with the skydiving and bungee jumping you gave me romantic candle lit dinners and late night walks by the beach.
See the reason why I fell for you as hard as I did was because somehow you managed to get me to do the one thing that I’d been failing to accomplish for years. You got me to stop and feel. Not think but feel.
Everything from the late night drives to the city’s outskirts to the random rides at amusement parks, forced me to feel. To live in that moment because I’d be so overwhelmed with excitement and fear that I’d have no choice but to give in to the present.
Yet that night as we sipped our coffees at our usual hangout spot and you looked up at me from beneath those thick lashes. You sensed that urgency rise from inside me again. You felt my feet begin to ‘itch’ again. And you sighed because you knew. Like you had known on the night of our first kiss. That someday I would leave to explore again, not knowing when I would return, but leaving you with an empty promise regardless.
So as we stood at the airport ten-minutes before my check-in time, you held me close and kissed my forehead. Inhaling my scent as though you were trying to craft an image of me in your mind for later. I looked up as you swiftly turned your head in the opposite direction, but not before I saw your thick eyelashes that were once dry. Were now moist.
So I kissed you one last time but this time I was hopeful you see, because for the first time in a very long time, I had something to come back to. Although my adventurous side craved for exotic experiences and soul evoking thrills. I would be back this time, because our connection went beyond those one-night stands.
It was that kind of love. An exquisite love.