As an introvert, as well as a person who has moved 25 times throughout my 27 years of life, there are many things that tend to happen to you, here are 10 things a person who has moved frequently goes through.
1. Burning Bridges Is Easy
Many people have stated don’t burn your bridges, unfortunately, for us, it’s not so easy. After all, when you’ve moved so many times, and if you don’t want to deal with something or someone, it’s easy to just walk away, besides why should you work to keep the relationship if they don’t want it? To us burning bridges is almost like breathing, it has become so natural to us, that doing anything else is hard. While most people when they leave a job, or school, they’ll keep in touch with those they’ve gone to school with, or simply stay in the area so that should anyone chose, they can be contacted. This brings me to the next one.
2. Networking Is Hard
Often the next line we’ll hear that comes after why you shouldn’t burn your bridges, is to network… in this society it’s all about networking. When we hear this, in our head we’d ask “With who?” Most people know someone who know’s someone else, if only because they’ve been in that area for a long period of time, and thus they are able to help them out. We are not so fortunate, since we’ve constantly moved, there is no keep in contact, or some one helping you out. Networking for us takes excruciating work, which most introverts do not want to go through, because I’m sorry you want me to talk to how many people? You’re funny.
3. We’re Distant
While we may adjust to a new surrounding, and eventually meet new people, and experience new things, when it comes to the people, there is always this level of distance between us. It’s not just in being an introvert either, that only adds onto the problem. To us we know at some point in time, we’re going to be moving again, so it would be best to not get to close. If we’ve moved since an early age, the fastest thing we learned was getting attached leaves you broken when you move, so best not get attached. We may not intend to do it, we may not even want to do it, but to save ourselves the emotional turmoil, we will put up a few more walls to the one we already have.
4. The Term “Childhood Friends” Doesn’t Exist.
I’ve always held a certain type of envy towards the people who’ve known each other since childhood. I’ve never had that privilege, and seeing how they can act towards each other, leaves a certain lingering in me each time. The closest I’ve come to experiencing “Childhood Friend” Was in highschool, and even then it doesn’t completely work since I’ve only known them since highschool. This can also only work if they’ve gotten so close to you, that it’s been a friendship you’ve wanted to keep, even if it is only online. Once again however, that usually only leaves you with a very select few friends that you’d know, verses the ones you’d have had you not moved.
5. Your Love/Hate Relationship With Boxes
On one hand we’ve become master packers. We laugh at those who are moving for the first time packing, we look at those holes and figure out what can go into them. We know how to pack tight and efficiently, and box tape becomes our best friend. On the other hand, we look at those boxes and often thing to ourselves “I don’t want to see another box as long as I live.” A lofty wish, but unfortunately one that will never come to pass, because you know, that at one point you’re going to move again, and you’re going to need those boxes again. This also comes in handy when working at a company, or going on trips. At a company the manager may become impressed at how good you are in putting everything in a small space. On a trip, you know how to cram everything into that car, in a style most would envy.
While that is self evident, I mean you are moving after all. It’s still a big part in the action of moving. Often seen as perhaps the favorite part of the entire thing, because you get to experience that which most don’t. Travel fanatics will often stop you once they hear how many times you’ve moved and where, if only to ask you what you’ve seen. During this point, you get to wonder what kind of things you’ll see when moving to that different area. You get to smell the smells, that no other person has, pleasant or otherwise. You know the difference between a prairie sky, mountain ranges, and forests. You’ll get to experience the heat of the desert sun, as well as the freezing temperatures of the north. So while you may hate the fact that you have to move… again, this part is always the part you look forward to.
7. The Accumulation Of Knowledge And Skills
There are some things you simply know better than most, like geography, reading maps, how to pack properly, how to fill your trailer most efficiently with the boxes, and the like. If some one asks you about a certain place you’ve been in, you’ll be able to tell them in great detail. The culture in various places is also different than the last place you’ve been in, and while you may be stunned at first, you blend in faster then most. You know all the short cuts, you know the scenic routes, and every place you’ve been through, you always end up learning something from there. These things often help you in your vacations as well, since you’ve moved so many times, you know how to act around the locals. So while many would say don’t go to a certain area, or how various area’s are bad. You don’t have this problem, because you’re able to work your way through, and have a good experience while others end up with bad ones.
8. The Accumulation Of Things
You would think that a person who’s moved so many times would be a minimalist (kind of funny since I like shopping). In fact the opposite tends to happen, when you usually end up with more stuff. At one point you’ll look at your house, and wonder. “Did we always have this many things since last move?” While then proceeding to trying to get rid of everything you don’t need. This however, doesn’t last, because while you have succeeded in getting rid of a good deal of things you no longer need, some how, in the next house, there’s more. Some of this comes from learning from what you needed in the last place, and the other part comes from seeing something you want and getting it.
People never look positively on a person who has moved so many different times. Often you’ll get the label of nomad, or gypsy, while they look at you and often think to themselves “Oh you poor thing.” Others once they’ve been told, will ask why, and then laugh at you while stating why you moving was stupid, unless of course there’s a legitimate reason in which you’ve moved, but there’s still that sucks to be you attitude. The worst part is the fact that this negative attitude others gives us, gets to us eventually. Thus we forget about everything we’ve seen and experienced, and all the good things we’ve learned and done, which is a shame, because we should be able to look at them and say. “Hey at least I got to see and do things you never have.”
10. Relationships Or Lack Thereof
My family… is not large, at all. I have only ever met my cousins once in my life, and the only time I met my Grandfather was on his deathbed. My other grandparents? Never knew them, my Uncle? Never knew him either. This is one of the downfalls of moving so many times, your relationship with your family or extended family, becomes nonexistent. Sure you may talk to them over the phone, or send the occasional letter, email, facebook comment, but you’re not really close to them. That’s just the family side of things.
Trying to find yourself a boyfriend or girlfriend? Ha! Good luck. Most of the ones I’ve known, or could have potential relationships with, never started simply because I’ve moved before they could be. Oh sure some people may say being single is fun… and those people I’d like to smack upside the head, because often times they’ve been in a relationship, and they get to chose between the two. Us? Oh no, we don’t get to chose, because we’re moving, and any girl or guy we may be crushing over will soon be left to the wind. This isn’t even to mention trying to start a family, once you are lucky enough to find that some one, who is willing to be with you and travel with you. Unless you manage to stay in a house for a good period of time, which lets face it, is a little doubtful. It’s not going to be easy to start a family, or even start one at all.
But that’s just the relative and romance side of things, what about friends? Well… what about them? At this point in time, you don’t have any, or if you do it’s very little, you don’t even have a little group of friends anymore, or subsections of friends. No you’re stuck with maybe one to three friends, who you may or may not speak to online. This sucks because every person longs to have some kind of relationship with some one who is outside of the family.
This is why, while we may never want to get rid of the side of us that travels, for reasons already stated. We still want that permanent residence that we can come home to and just… relax. Where we no longer have to worry about each new person we’ll need to try and start a relationship with, or having to pack boxes again. There’s always that place where as the line in Coldplays song Clock mentions. “Home, home where I wanted to go.” At the end of the line there are things we want to do, and relationships we’ve wanted to be in, but most importantly a place we truly desire to call home.