There’s always going to be a day when you’re a little down on yourself. Maybe things didn’t go well for you at work, or you’re not feeling your best, or life just isn’t going your way. And trust me — I know how much that sucks. When this happens, don’t let that little doubtful voice in your head take over. If your loved ones had a bad day, you’d try to lift them up, wouldn’t you? Well, why not do the same for yourself? Whether you utter these to others or to yourself, there are some phrases that are sabotaging your efforts. If you truly love yourself, you need to cut these out of your vocab, post-haste:
1. “Ugh, I should have…”
So you made a mistake that set you back a bit. You may be tempted to beat yourself up about it, dwell on it until the end of time, or sulk in self-loathing, but guess what? You’re human. You’re going to make mistakes, and if you constantly focus on what you should have or could have done instead, you’ll just set yourself back further. Every time you start to focus on your past choices, stop and think this simple phrase: “It’s behind me, and now I’ve learned what to do if this situation happens again.”
2. “That’s impossible.”
Every time you say this, you limit yourself more than you know. Unless you’re talking about making pigs fly, nothing is impossible. (And hey — who knows what innovations they’ll make for farm animal aviation in the future!) If you truly love yourself, you should be your own biggest cheerleader. Nothing can stop you except for YOU.
3. “I have no time to relax.”
If you care about yourself — and you should, girl! — putting aside a few minutes every day to put your feet up should be one of your absolute top priorities. By saying this phrase, you’re suggesting to yourself and the world that you aren’t worthy of letting yourself unwind a little. No matter how busy your life is, you can schedule in some time to read a book or have a nice bath.
4. “It’s too late.”
So you’ve had a dream ever since you were a kid but the years have gone by quickly and you haven’t made it come to fruition. Maybe you wanted to be a chef but you didn’t pursue it; maybe you wanted to be an author, but you never found the time to finish those last few chapters of your novel. Now you think that it’s pointless to even try. Say this over and over again until you go hoarse: it’s never too late.
5. “I don’t deserve it.”
Imagine you said this about a loved one. How awful would you feel? Of course your BFF deserves anything she has her heart set on. So why in the world are you saying it about yourself? If you don’t believe you deserve the world, no one will — and they’ll step all over you.
6. “Susan is so ahead of me in life.”
This is one that is difficult for me to shake: comparing myself with others. Sure, maybe that girl you knew from college seems like she’s got everything, but you have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes. There’s no point to comparing yourself with anyone but your past self. Focus on your own successes — not the ones that people proudly portray on social media.
7. “I hate my *insert aspect of appearance here*.”
“I hate my stomach.” “My nose is awfully crooked.” “My hair is too frizzy.” “My feet are huge.” I’ve heard so many variations of this phrase so many times and I’ve also uttered it more times than I’d like to admit. Your body allows you to be on this Earth, living and breathing, walking and talking. Your body is an amazing piece of equipment and every part of it is unique. Why would you want to look like anyone else? Love yourself for who you are.
8. “Oh, that’s not true…” in response to a sincere compliment.
Your coworker reads over your work and tells you that you’re intelligent. You get flustered and blurt out, “Oh, no, not really.” Does this sound familiar? Denying compliments is the equivalent of shouting to the world, “Hey! I’m vastly uncomfortable in my own skin!” When people feel the need to tell you what makes you amazing, appreciate it and own it!
9. “I look awful today.”
We all have our “off” days when we don’t feel as attractive or put-together as we’d like. However, saying this phrase to yourself over and over just knocks you down — and spoiler alert: you’re probably the only one who doesn’t think you look fab. Love yourself by reminding yourself that you’re always flawless.
10. “He/she was right about me.”
You’ve probably had someone doubt you at some point in your life and their comments cut you right to the core. Perhaps they insulted your abilities or goals or they were just downright rude to you. However, no matter what, you can’t believe them. To love yourself is to accept yourself as you truly are … not as someone else expects you to be. To love yourself is to recognize that you are amazing from head to toe. Because you are — and don’t ever forget it, even on your bad days.