woman in black jacket sitting on brown grass during daytime

This Is How I Learned To Heal From My Trauma

There are moments in our life that define us. Moments that have scarred us. Moments that have given us hope. Joy. Fulfillment. But for the moments that make us live in constant fear—fear of love, fear of moving forward, fear of success—there is one simple way to break this. And I am gonna tell you one of my best kept secrets of how I broke this in my personal life.

I have had times in my life that were not so pretty. Most of us have. As a newly single mom to my beautiful baby boy, there were some scars I had to embrace within myself. I left my abusive ex behind in another state to sleep on my friend’s living room floor, on an air mattress that did not stay inflated. Why? Because the fear of staying with my ex was bigger than the fear of leaving. The fear of the unknown. The fear of getting back up on my feet and showing my ex that nothing can break me.

It was hard. The second hardest thing I have ever done.

My first was giving birth—OUCH!

But leaving was worth it. And it was worth settling my scars from my abusive past with this meditation.

WARNING: This is not a pretty process. In order to move forward, you must be willing and want to change. You must be willing to face your fear. Do not force yourself to do this when you are not ready.

You may have multiple moments you would like to do this meditation with. But please start with one at a time. Healing is a process and cannot be rushed. Give yourself time in between meditations before moving onto the next moment in time you want to heal.

Meditation:

Get comfortable. Sit or lay down and put on some background music.

Close your eyes. Imagine going into your past self—going into their body.

Go back to that moment that made you feel fearful, unsafe, depressed, etc. Imagine the sounds around you. The smells. The sights. Hear the words that were said to you. Take in those feelings. Feel them as much as you can. Cry. Scream. Whine. Talk back. Whatever you have to do. Feel it!

Now step away from that person you were in the moment. Take your present self out of your past self.

Walk towards your past self as your present self. Tell your past self what they needed to hear. “You are loved. You are safe. You are important. Everything will be okay. I am here for you.” Customize these words to what YOU need to hear as your past self.

Now go back into your past self and embrace the words that were said. Feel the new feelings these words gave you. Feel loved. Feel safe. Feel important. Know that everything is okay. Know that you are not alone.

Breathe in these feelings. Feel the warm energy of white light surround you. Be at peace.

Open your eyes when you are ready. Go about your day or night knowing that the past is changed and you are free from that memory. This is a reminder that you are now in 100% control of your life. You can choose to still live in fear, or you can choose to be free. The choice is yours.

About the author
I remember before I was born, and watched my parents get married. Follow Sammie on Instagram or read more articles from Sammie on Thought Catalog.

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