shallow focus photography of woman in black spaghetti strap top

If You Miss Me, Remember This Was Your Fault

I need you to do me a favor. I need you to reflect on all the times our conversation became stale after I had been bubbling with excitement. I want you to reminisce all the times you ignored me for weeks or months and came back like nothing happened. Think long and hard about the guilt-tripping, gaslighting, victim mentality you exerted. Please think about the endless push and pull you facilitated for a sense of control when all it did was create a giant haze above our connection. It’s imperative that you acknowledge your actions and just how rooted they were in selfishness.

Do you remember the way my tone of voice gradually changed? Do you remember the way it was once filled with such happiness? That is, until my being faded into blind reliance. That is, until I completely lost myself in it.

So I had to let go. I had to let go emotionally first for my physical exit to follow.

This feeling of letting you go didn’t happen overnight. The power to stand my ground is something that flourished the more I grew to be tired of your actions. So now, I don’t want you to say a word. You owe me that much. I don’t want to hear your excuses and how for me, it was simply a case of overthinking. I don’t want to hear your attempts at justification. I don’t even need acknowledgement. You had all the time in the world to make it up to me, but you never did.

Don’t forget it was you that pushed me over the edge.

You have nobody to blame but yourself. So please, let me go so I can fall back in love with myself.

Life goes on. And I want you to stay right where you are.

Where am I now, you ask? I’m living life to the fullest and immersing myself in people and passions that comfort my heart. I’m dancing in the sunshine that is my fresh new start.

Author and poet writing about the dark and the light.

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