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Here Are 5 Reasons Why Someone Might Doubt You

1. Insecurity

It’s true that many people project their feelings onto others, but such feelings become even more intense when someone close in their life finds that spark and they haven’t. For some, it can be difficult watching a person fall in love with their passion when they have been told many times over that they cannot follow their dreams. If this person seems happy for you on the surface but does not like to speak about what you’re doing or avoids the topic altogether, they could be doubting themselves and feeling insecure, which in turn may subconsciously discourage you. It doesn’t hurt to approach this person with understanding if they are not dismissive of your vision as such emotions do sometimes arise from trauma or lack of encouragement from their own support network earlier in life.

2. Jealousy

Similar to insecurity, jealousy is another emotion that can contribute to negative energy towards your goals. Sometimes insecurity can be a deep-seated emotion that can be relatively harmless if the person internalizes their emotions. A very jealous person, however, will go above and beyond to tear down your goals through passive aggressive behavior in aims of hurting your motivation and chipping away at your confidence. These doubts are therefore occurring for the wrong reason, and if you can identify the intent, it’s important to distance yourself because jealousy is an emotion that can quickly spiral and its interference can throw you off balance quite quickly if you allow it.

3. Concern

In contrast with the previous two reasons, sometimes doubt stems from genuine concern—no agenda, no ulterior motive. Sometimes, those closest in your life may feel you’re losing yourself or will lose yourself if you reach your goals, or they may have noticed a negative change in your mental health. It’s important to appreciate and respect the fact these constructive doubts are coming from a loving place. Honest conversations are important in determining what it is you really want and really need.

4. Differing Perspectives

Your idea of success may be very different to your friend’s. The doubts that arise from this are common personality/perspective clashes. This is completely normal. If the doubts begin to feel destructive and out of character, then you will need to speak with them to find out why they feel the way they do. But everybody is entitled to an opinion, and maybe this person in your life knows you more than you think and is simply offering a different opinion to think through. It never hurts to gain another perspective if it is coming from the right place.

5. To Increase Motivation

Doubt may come across as negative but sometimes it can be a person’s way of trying to see how much you really want something and to filter out any spontaneity, whether subconscious or not. We need that resistance from others to decide if we want something badly enough. They say when you’re unsure about a decision to flip a coin and when it’s up in the air, you will immediately know the answer before it lands. This is a similar thing: When someone doubts you, it could be another way to instil that hunger within you to make you realize how bad you actually want something. This can be used as a tactic in particularly challenging households where competition is encouraged and this ideology does stem from more old-fashioned ideologies of “tough love”.

Author and poet writing about the dark and the light.

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