Despite their deep intuition and spirituality, old souls can be difficult to love and take care of in their own right. In a world filled with technology and the hubbub of fleeting exchanges, old souls are increasingly at odds with the environment. So, if you love an old soul, it may require special care and attention to slow down and learn to love them. You also have to be prepared to question how we live our lives today and do things that are off-the-beaten-path. Here are nine ways to truly have a loving and lasting relationship with an old soul.
1. Make genuine and meaningful eye contact often and gaze.
Old souls spend much time growing their garden of experiences and deepening their souls. The eyes are windows to the soul, so the only way in which you can discover their most intimate possession is through their eyes. Old souls value peering into others’ souls as well. Expressive eye contact and making it a point to gaze will truly allow you to connect with your old soul in a way that builds genuine intimacy and trust.
2. Hold them – in sadness, in love, in anger – and keep them close.
Old souls rely on the energy that emanates from another’s body. When you hold an old soul, you are communicating to her that you accept her and all of her unique qualities – no matter how angry you are at her or how consumed you are with your own joy or grief. When you hold her, she feels protected and safe and is more likely to share her secrets with you or her musings – that are so dear to her.
3. Write meaningful handwritten letters and make them count, communicating as clearly as possible.
Although old souls question and debate to reach the “right path,” devoting much to learning about the world, they have a lot of respect for clarity. To them, heartfelt, sincere, and clear communication is a grand romantic gesture because it bares one’s soul. Letters are especially meaningful because they share one’s highly personal handwriting and are charmingly imperfect, unlike typewritten letters. The effort is indicative of a desire to truly connect.
4. Accept when you are wrong and apologize; likewise, acknowledge their apologies.
Old souls are not ones for vengeance or holding grudges. They prefer to move on to focus on higher aspirations in life and it also helps them focus on their faith in the human spirit. When you apologize, you are acknowledging their sensitive side. Truly introspect on what you may have done, apologize sincerely for the part that you are sorry for, and also apologize – most importantly – for how you made her feel. Do not get defensive. She will forgive. Likewise, when she apologizes, acknowledge it so that you can move forward, even if you do not forgive her immediately.
5. Give old souls your time.
Eat together. Shower together. Sleep together. Nothing says I love you more loudly than your time – not gifts, not words. This time filled with laughter, play, tears, touch, and other contact is what they crave. Do not smother them, as they need their space to just be with themselves, but being dedicated to them and giving them as much as you can (they will realize your personal limits) will go a long way. Involve them in daily tasks, and do them together. They want to share ordinary life with you and discover you.
6. Remember details and reference the past.
Old souls are creatures of history and nostalgia. Given the richness of their imaginative worlds in their heads, it is important to communicate to them that you understand and remember their shared history, even the details. It tells them it meant something to you.
7. Connect them to things of unique value in your life: your family, your hobbies, and your passions.
They are in for you, the real you, and not what you represent. They want to discover it and cultivate it. They want to be one with you. Let them in the ways that count most to you and to them. They derive great joy from being a part of the real you – with all of its flaws even.
8. Do NOT lie to them or overcommit.
Old souls are less interested in in the grandness of what you say and more interested in your sincerity and honesty. Offer what you can and always sincerely. Do not overcommit, as it won’t get you anywhere with them in the medium-term. Saying what you mean is so essential to retaining the purity and genuine nature of your relationship with them – whatever that relationship is in practice.
9. Protect them while valuing their independence.
Old souls are often misunderstood creatures. The world can judge them incorrectly or harshly, thinking they are crazy or eccentric or old-fashioned or unrealistic. That is why they need some protecting and someone to reply on from time-to-time. At the same rate, they need space for their independent dreaming and thought.
10. Do little things to show that you care.
Small gifts are appreciated, but more than that are gestures: a ride to work, a morning tea, advice, a good book … anything that leads to a spontaneous smile. It is these little things that they believe live is made up of.
11. Last but not least, focus, focus, focus.
Do not peruse an old soul. Do not taste test. Dive deep even if for a fleeting moment. Only then will you experience what an old soul has to offer.