7 Unspoken Traits Women Want In Men (And Vice Versa)

It is commonly recited in the world of relationships that there are mandatory qualities a man should have to successfully seduce women. And majority of men understand these guidelines. There is no secret about it. Confidence, intelligence, humor, power, and potential, are these exact key qualities. Yet with this information, it is challenging for men (and women) to imagine how one would come across achieving such characteristics. So what begins happening is we portray ourselves in the world appearing to harness things like confidence, or intelligence. Therefore entering our dependence, on things like scripted pick-up lines to disguise our lack of personality.

Now although I’m not a relationship expert, nor a master seducer of women – I’ve come across a strikingly provocative philosophy that has continuously driven me to become a better person and potential mate. The philosophy is: The relationship you have with yourself, determines the relationship you have with others. Through this, I’ve learned there are specific methods you can take to improve the key seductive qualities in dating.

1. Educate Yourself Outside Of School

Educating yourself outside of school is another way of saying, find a hobby. If there are a million men on the dating market – Differentiating yourself through knowledge and continuously doing what you enjoy is what makes you unique while maximizing your potential suitable mates. Let me illustrate this for you.

Imagine in life and dating, there are an infinite possible of paths you could follow. Each path is segregated based on your goals, hobbies, and interests. Once you begin educating yourself on the hobbies you enjoy, pursuing your interests, and working towards your goals in life – you are moving along a certain path. This path is your scene. It is where you are succeeding, and where you are most confident. It also connects you to a path in life that will allow you to meet women on a similar journey. It is what enhances your compatibility rate, and will eradicate the popular feeling of “I don’t know what to say in person” because people along your path speak a similar language.

So if you are into things like film, stand-up comedy, and dance. Then search for local film festivals and attend them. Study directors, and the inspiration behind film writers. Go with friends to comedy nights, and even make new friends there. Take up dance lessons and practice hard. Perform for an audience and connect with the industry.

It is time to delete Tinder and your list of pick-up lines, and build more depth to your life.

2. Potential And Intentions

It didn’t take me long to realize that women tend to go for older men. And it isn’t the age of these men that is seductive, but their potential and intentions of their actions. If you were to dissect women’s needs into their biological nature, they would ask for men who are: ambitious, financially stable, ready to reproduce, and had their life act together. These are all qualities older men typically have.

Part of building a relationship with yourself is to practice self-discipline. How you organize your day-to-day behaviour reflects the person you wish to be. Intentions are always speaking ten times louder than your actual words – So, what are they saying?

Define your own term of success, and set out to achieve it. Do it by integrating it with the things you love in life. Carve your path deeper by creating and accomplishing short-term and long-term goals for yourself. Women don’t judge a man’s status by the car he drives, or how much money he earns. They judge his status by his behaviour. The starving artist that is always surrounded by women is the best evidence of such idea. Exert will power on life-long habits rather than temporary fixes.

Attending university and graduating with a degree isn’t enough. What sets you apart?

3. Be Vulnerable

Vulnerability is generally associated with weakness. To maintain men’s masculinity, one must withhold their emotions, to not show weakness, and to ignore any hint of introspection. But let’s ignore this notion and look at it differently.

Simply being willing to share your fears or insecurities is not defining “vulnerability” – It can also describe putting yourself in a position where you get rejected, saying a joke that may not be funny, asserting an opinion that may offend others, or joining a table of people you don’t know. All of these things require you to stick your neck out on the line emotionally in some way.

In this way, vulnerability represents a form of power. It illustrates a deep and subtle form of power. A man who’s able to be vulnerable is saying to the world, “I don’t care what you think of me; this is who I am, and I refuse to be anyone else.” He’s saying he’s not needy and that he’s high status.

4. The Bad Boy Paradox

Never purposely be an asshole, or be insensitive, assuming it will portray a bad boy image. A bad boy image is one who is strong, independent, and high status. A “doesn’t take shit from anybody” bad boy – but never forget to have depth and sensitivity. At least be open and vulnerable when around her.

5. Different Outlook On Rejection

An invigorating reason to build a strong relationship with yourself is to eliminate the fear of rejection. You build a standard and a logical reasoning for whom you are interested in. In turn, rejections become an ally as it sorts out the right people in your life and the wrong. If you were rejected because of X or Y, ask yourself: Why would I want to be intimate with someone who doesn’t appreciate me? Have a little more self-respect.

6. Don’t Greed For Money To Attract Women

Never invest your time and effort chasing material wealth and social status. Rather, invest your time and effort into knowledge, new experiences, and relationships, and then material wealth and status will be a natural side-effect of that. Attract quality women using your personality, not your wallet.

7. High Status

Social status is determined by how you behave around other people, how other people behave around you, and how you treat yourself. There is no better method of attaining this. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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