Feeling stuck and unhappy with life right now? Spoiler alert: it might be you. Read on for 11 signs you’re the reason you’re not that happy with where your life is right now.
1. You don’t have a budget.
I get it, money is stressful and most of us are underpaid. That doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t do what you can to make things better. If you’re constantly in a cycle of making money, spending it on stupid stuff, then being too scared to look at your checking account balance, it’s time to grow up and get serious about what you do with your money. There are now tons of amazing apps out there to help you track your spending and manage your money – get one!
2. You never read.
Um, you know that you actually get to keep growing and learning as an adult, right? These activities don’t end when you graduate. Expose yourself to new ideas, learn about how your brain works, and you’ll be shocked at how much that will put you ahead in life.
3. You’re too busy for friends.
Did you know that strong friendships are one of the biggest predictors of high life satisfaction? Yeah, friends (real ones – that you can share anything with) are pretty important. I know we get busy and while we love & think about our friends, we forget to reach out. One of my favorite little life hacks is to set reminders in my phone to reach out to my bffs – both once a week just to check in, and on important dates like surgeries and job interviews.
4. You’re too busy for self care.
We know by now that self care isn’t all sheet masks and bubble baths, right? You can’t pour from an empty cup and without self care, you can’t fully show up for other people. Take time for yourself to do things that make you feel good and back in touch with YOU. Schedule it in your planner if you have to make it happen, then don’t cancel on yourself!
5. You live your life based on other people’s opinions.
Tossing aside your own intuition and inner guide to follow what other people think you should do is a recipe for feeling like crap. Believe it or not, once you take responsibility for making your own choices, you will feel so much better – even if you’re making mistakes (and you will).
6. You think you have to have it all figured out.
By now, you should know that none of us have it all figured out. Not your parents, not Thought Catalog writers, not your college professors. We never will, and that’s ok. You don’t have to have it all figured out to be an adult, to pursue that crazy dream, or to buy a house. You’ll never be all the way ready – and if you are, you waited too long!
7. You’re waiting for [a promotion, an engagement ring, yourself to lose 20 pounds, etc] before you’ll let yourself be happy.
Guess what? If you aren’t happy now, you won’t be happy then. You can both be happy AND be striving towards big goals in life. The big goals won’t make you happy – you make you happy by deciding you’re worth it, now.
8. You are constantly shit talking yourself.
Imagine how well a sports team would do if the cheerleaders were mocking the team instead of cheering for them. You are doing the equivalent to yourself in your head when you tell yourself you’re stupid, fat, ugly, and not enough. No, I didn’t read your mind, we all say these things to ourselves! It’s like basic human brain programming. Upgrade your thoughts by doing a gentle shift to something that is believable but makes you feel better instead of worse. (Ex: “my body is disgusting” changes to “I have a body” or “I’m learning to love my body.”)
9. You’re Seinfeld-ing in dating.
Remember how everyone on Seinfeld had shallow little problems about literally everyone they dated? Do you want to find someone or not? Get clear on that, then list the things that are truly important (ie: similar values, not a serial killer, not a Nickelback fan), and overlook the rest.
10. If you’re afraid of something, you don’t do it.
Fear is a really good thing. We probably wouldn’t last very long without it, but if you’re letting it control the direction of your life, you’re in trouble. Fear wants you to stay 100% safe and never take a risk outside of your comfort zone, which is going to lead to your life staying exactly the same as it is now or getting worse. You have to tell your fear to step aside and blast out of your comfort zone to do the kinds of amazing things you really want to in life.
11. You keep falling into the same patterns.
Is your life starting to feel like the movie Groundhog Day? Are you constantly dating the same horrible guy, getting hired for the same crappy jobs, or falling off the healthy lifestyle wagon at the same time each year? The fact that you aren’t learning from this and doing something different is probably driving you crazy. Stop believing your own BS story that this is just who you are and that you “always” do this. You’re 100% in control of your own choices and can decide to do things differently.