Girl, I love you, but I wish you’d stop saying…
“I’m sorry” when you cry.
So picture me chatting with a client (or friend!), who starts sharing a deeply personal and sensitive story. They start to tear up and immediately apologize for the tears. What?? No! You are a human being, which means you have feelings about things. That’s ok. Let it out. In 2016, we all finally figured out that bottling up our emotions isn’t healthy, which hopefully will lead to 2017 being the year that crying becomes the latest health fad. #acoachcandream
“I’m sorry” in general.
You may have seen this fantastic meme going around encouraging you to say “thank you” instead of “I’m sorry.” For example, instead of “Sorry for being late!” you would say “Thank you for waiting for me!” Well, I’ve been testing it out and it is pretty great. It turns the focus onto the other person and what they have done for you, and you get to practice some gratitude, instead of wallowing in negativity. That is not to say some things don’t deserve a hearty apology, but I think you know the difference.
“I don’t know”
OMG girl. When you say this, it is a red flag to me that you definitely know and you don’t like it. Every time you say this, you are giving away your power like a person on a parade float throwing candy. This year, when you feel that urge to say those words, take a deep breath and look inside for what you know to be true. It’s ok if it starts tentatively with a “I don’t like it but I think the answer is ___.”
If you’re my client, you already know honesty is one of my favorite topics. The way I first realized this was when I noticed everyone uses “busy” as a valid excuse for everything. Yet if we are all completely honest, we are probably not that busy. (If we are, we need time management skills – another topic for another day!) Next time you want to decline plans, figure out the actual reason and just say it: “I’m feeling a little down and need some time at home to recharge” is valid. You know what else is valid? Saying “Unfortunately, I’m not able to make it.” You don’t even need an excuse! Mind.blown.
Love, don’t call yourself lazy. Lazy is not the reason that you haven’t started that exercise regimen or repainted your bedroom. Think about all the amazing things you’ve accomplished when you’ve set your mind to it. Calling yourself lazy is giving yourself an easy out. There’s a deeper reason you aren’t going after these goals.