1. You only like them when you’re drunk. When you drink, your judgment is impaired which makes you more likely to lower your standards and go home with a random guy simply because he bought you a drink. As someone who has had my fair share of casual hookups after a night of drinking, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t bring home that cutie from the bar. However, if you’re hooking up with someone who you literally cannot tolerate when you’re sober, it might be time to reevaluate. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with only hitting up your booty call after that fourth tequila shot, but if you find yourself getting annoyed or repulsed by them as you start sobering up, you should probably move on to someone else who you can at least enjoy some pillow talk with.
2. You don’t enjoy the sex. This reason might seem obvious considering that most people would probably bail on a casual hookup after the first time if it were really bad. However, in my own experience and in those of my friends, I’ve noticed that a lot of us tend to continue having mediocre or bad sex with our hookups, just because it’s guaranteed sex. (Not to mention the wishful thinking that maybe next time will be better.) But when the main point of having a casual hookup is the sex, you should only be with someone who can actually get you off. The way I see it, if the sex you’re having with your casual partner isn’t satisfying you, you either teach them how to get you off, or cut ‘em lose.
3. It’s emotionally draining. Because we are currently living in a time of hookup culture, casual sexual relationships are becoming the norm, especially for those of us in college environments. But just because hooking up is seen as the standard, doesn’t mean that you should get involved in casual sexual relationships if you don’t want to. If you are in a casual hookup situation and find that you’re constantly upset or unhappy because of its strictly sexual nature, then that’s a clear way of knowing that you probably shouldn’t be in it. The point at which it stops being fun, is when you know you need to end it.
4. You’re trying to distract yourself from someone else. I have had multiple friends tell me that the best way to get over someone is to go out and hook up with someone else. While they may have the best intentions, I don’t tend to agree with my friends on this one. I’ve had my heart broken several times and have taken part in rebound-fueled hookups in hopes of getting over the guys who had hurt me and to be totally honest, it sucked. While the attention of a new hookup was temporarily distracting from my heartache, I found that casually sleeping with guys just to forget about someone else actually made me think about that person more, and made me wish I was still having sex with them, and not the random guy from my econ class. You should only be having casual sex because it’s what you WANT to do. To have it for any other reason can make it a miserable experience.
5. You always regret hooking up with them. Although most of us have experienced that awful feeling of waking up next to someone we didn’t want to, it is a completely different story to feel regretful after EVERY encounter with your hookup. Casual sex and hookups are meant to be fun and pleasure-filled for all of those involved. If you are constantly feeling shame, guilt, or any combination of negative emotions that make you wish you hadn’t had sex with your partner, you shouldn’t continue to hook up with them. Regardless of the reason, feeling regretful after having sex with someone is a huge red flag that you probably shouldn’t be having it with them, so stop and take some time to figure out what it is you really want in a hookup or sexual relationship, and then go from there.