The Internet has made us all writers. Sign up for Twitter, make a blog, and give yourself the title, because it’s just that easy.
But on a professional level, full-time writers who call it a career, as opposed to a hobby, are seeing the results. Print is dying, ‘Buzzfeed-style writer’ is an actual job title and blogging has nearly replaced journalism. It’s a new age. The age of the millennial writer — the social media reporting, tea-sipping, sarcastic commentator, who has a whole lot to say about everything. The future of media.
We’re here, we’re witty, we’re charming, we’re real life Hanna Horvaths, and if you don’t believe us, check our lists and Pinterest boards. Here are 50 signs that you’re a writer in your 20s.
1. You regulate people that call you a blogger. You are NOT a blogger. You’re a writer that posts words not regurgitated information.
2. You have a love/hate relationship with list articles. Listicles, if you’re particularly jaded to them.
3. But somehow all your pitch ideas turn into listicles, because there’s a greater chance they’ll be published.
4. There’s nothing worse than hearing your own voice while transcribing.
5. Unless of course, that’s transcribing muffled, drawn-out interviews of people with heavy accents.
6. You’ve submitted an article two minutes before deadline.
7. Media passes are the closest thing to a badge of honor.
8. Your favorite part of event coverage is the swag bags.
9. You’ve become allergic to standing in line and have uttered the word, “Press shouldn’t have to wait.”
10. You believe that Hunter S. Thompson is the Yeezus of journalism.
11. There are at least 14 unfinished articles/pitches taking up space on your desktop.
12. When intoxicated, you record every conversation, because you believe everything has possible story potential.
13. Life — including eating, sleeping, and your sex life — revolves around deadlines.
14. If a publication posting your work doesn’t earn you followers, it’s not worthy of writing for.
15. After all, everyone knows millennial writers get paid more in followers than they do actual cash for a piece they write.
16. Your list of paying freelance sites is your bible.
17. “Views are my own” is usually posted in your social media bios, because you’ll probably end up saying something rude with grammatical errors that your editor could fire you over.
18. And also, “Retweets are not endorsements,” because you don’t believe in being held accountable for the nudes of Rihanna that you will probably end up retweeting.
19. You either love Carrie Bradshaw or hate her guts.
20. But either way, Hannah Horvath is GOAT.
21. But when you hear GOAT, you instantly think of Elliott Wilson, the king of hip-hop journalism.
22. The only memo pad you own is in your phone.
23. And you don’t ever have a pen on you.
24. You’ve said “Your network is your net worth” in a serious conversation.
25. When coming up with incredibly witty ideas, you juggle with the idea of tweeting it for instant gratification or writing a piece on it and hoping it gets published before someone else gets to it.
26. But nothing is timely in the digital age, which means your idea is probably irrelevant after an hour or so.
27. You’ve Googled Do caffeine IVs exist?
28. And, How much wine can one person physically drink?
29. You sometimes regret getting a journalism degree, because you don’t quite understand how you will ever pay off a $40,000 student loan debt with $75 freelance articles.
30. Your thumbs are the most exercised part of your body from your constant need to scroll through your phone in case anything newsworthy appears.
31. You have no friends, just sources, peers, and competition.
32. You’ve been spotted squatting in front of random outlets throughout your city (the subway, the mall, Starbucks etc.) in order to charge your phone.
33. Because nothing gives you greater anxiety than when your phone dies. That. Just. Can’t. Happen.
34. You feel guilty every time you hit up Buzzfeed, but you still do. Regularly.
35. You’ve even taken many of their quizzes to find out what Disney princess or character from The OC you are.
36. You still write free pieces, because if you only wrote for paying publications, you’d hardly have any writing opportunities.
37. You fact-check your own work, because publications don’t have the time/money for that anymore.
38. You share more information about your personal life than you should.
39. You believe that writer’s block is a sickness.
40. On occasion, you have trouble making word count on your articles, because you are so used to minimizing everything you need to say into 140 characters.
41. Working from home means living in your PJs and surviving on frozen pizzas and tea.
42. Everything is an excuse for a story idea. Everything.
43. Your Twitter and Instagram is a hub for breaking news.
44. The only proper suit you own is a blazer you bought on sale at H&M.
45. You have a deep-rooted respect for TMZ. How are they always the first to break these stories? Hire me.
46. You pray that someday soon, it will become socially acceptable to respond to important emails with gifs and memes.
47. The best feeling in the world is seeing your name on the byline of your published work. Better than cupcakes. Better than sex. (Almost.)
48. You believe one day that you will write an article that will give you your big break (and a big check).
49. You still get anxious when you send in a pitch because you really care about your career and your ideas.
50. And no matter how little money you make, you wouldn’t give up being a writer for anything.
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