Make him feel special. Stroke his ego. Play hard to get, but not too hard. Show him affection, but not too much. Be vulnerable, but don’t talk about your insecurities, mental health or past relationships.
Don’t be skinny – you’ll look like a prepubescent boy. Guys like thick girls now. But you have to be the right type of thick. You know, thick thighs and a tiny waist – thick arms don’t count.
Give him what he wants or he won’t chase you. Don’t give him what he wants if you want him to chase you.
Be ambitious and earn a living, but don’t earn more than him. Have a career, but only one that he thinks is valuable. Or even better, have a career that makes his look more valuable.
Be passionate, but only about hockey, whey powder or the gym. Feminist? There’s enough of those. Stand up for what you want. Don’t complain.
You should know how to make a mean sandwich, but don’t be too domestic. You must be fertile. But don’t get pregnant. Go on birth control, he hates condoms. Don’t go on birth control, its harsh on the body. Don’t have sex after one tinder date. Don’t go on a tinder date unless you’re down for sex.
Have an appetite. Nobody likes the girl who pretends to want a salad from Wendy’s. Don’t eat carbs after 6pm, what’s wrong with you?
Have a voice, but not one that’s louder than his. Be educated, but don’t be smarter than him. Challenge him, but don’t make him think too hard.
Give him a play-by-play of where you see yourself in five years. And then in ten years. Twenty years. “Just be in the moment.” Be spontaneous, but have a plan.
You’re a woman which means you must want kids, right? How does six of them sound? You must also have a desire to travel, a clear medical history and no bad habits if you want to check off even a fraction of the boxes on his list.
Let him teach you something but don’t try to teach him anything. Guys don’t like to be corrected.
Be natural, honey, you don’t need all that makeup. Always look presentable, don’t look like a slob.
Be invested in his life, but don’t ask too many questions. Be opinionated and hold your own, but be open-minded. Know what you want. Be open to change. Be edgy, but speak like a lady.
Laugh when his jokes are funny. Laugh even when his jokes aren’t funny. Laugh at yourself, but don’t self-loath. Guys like confident girls, but not too confident.
Be honest but keep some mystery. Be assertive. Just be patient, he’ll open up to you at a pace that’s right for him. Throw caution to the wind but still keep your shit together.
Wear whatever you want, but not around his friends. Make an effort with them, but don’t give them too much attention. When you go out with the girls, dress sexy but not like a slut. Be open about your sex life. Don’t talk about your sex life.
Don’t talk about stretch marks, water retention or period cramps. Don’t talk about girly shit like skin care routines, the best sales at Anthropologie or the fact that thigh-highs make perfect de facto hiking boots. Just be comfortable with him.
Be the girl you see in the movies – the one that looks superb in a cocktail dress, jean cut-offs and sweat pants. Be the girl that has a lot of class, but isn’t afraid to get her hands a little dirty. Be the “chill” girl that every guy wants.
Just be yourself, you’re perfect the way you are.