20 Life Lessons Everyone Deserves To Learn Before Turning 20
1. Self-responsibility is imperative, but not too much.
Anything you feel is merely an emotional reaction from your thought processes. If you can remember this, then you can remember that nobody makes you feel anything, you make yourself feel things based on what you think about a situation. Remembering this will remind you that if you want to feel a certain way, you need to think it first. But if someone excuses their toxic actions simply because they can’t make you feel anything – lose them. That is what they call manipulation, and you need none of it.
2. Don’t make homes out of people.
Statistic: people will let you down 90 percent of the time. Do not put your all into someone because people (aside from family) are often temporary. Invest in people, but set boundaries.
3. Judging other women is self-immobilizing.
When has judging another woman’s choices or looks ever made you feel better about yourself? Never. You might think that passing judgement boosts your self-esteem, but it only releases negative energy into the world and it is that energy actually illuminates your insecurities. Just because someone is beautiful and successful does not mean that you’re not.
4. The people you think are magnificent likely do not deserve that pedestal.
Every human walks a different path but at our very core, we are all equally afraid of each other. We are fundamentally the same.
5. You are what you are, until you’re not.
It’s so easy to put pressure on yourself to be more self-aware, more forgiving, less uptight. But the truth is, your time is coming and it just takes a bit of patience. You will evolve at a pace that is right for you.
6. Let timing do its thing.
Do not give up on yourself. Have faith. Have patience.
7. Grant yourself permission to let go.
Whenever you feel consumed by a thought, situation or person, try asking yourself if you’ll still be feeling that in 5 years time. If the answer is no, let it GO.
8. You are more transparent than you like to think.
People read you as easily as a picture book, but you get to create the content.
9. Loudness = Confidence is a conflated comparison.
People think that loudness radiates confidence. Personally, I think loudness reeks of effort. You take up the same amount of space whether you are the centre of attention or not. To me, confidence is knowing that you can take up space in silence.
10. When someone gives you a compliment, the appropriate response is, “thank you.”
Denying a compliment might seem like the humble thing to do, but it fuels self-doubt and grants people permission to think less of you.
11. The parts of you that you feel obliged to hide will be what frees you.
Don’t give up on something that you’re interested in simply because you think it’s not valued by others. What you have that a lot of others don’t is passion, and it is that passion that will pave the way to self-actualization.
12. You have to write your own manifesto because the one’s you find on Pinterest won’t speak to you.
Gandhi’s “be the change you wish to see in the world” bullshit never spoke to you on a personal level. It’s cute, but it’s cliche. What do YOU need to hear? Think about it and write it down. Your words are powerful too.
13. Don’t surround yourself with people who are tired all the time.
Tired people bring you down simply because you feel like there isn’t much you can do for them. Don’t exhaust YOURSELF trying to make them less tired. It doesn’t work.
14. Your body is merely a vehicle that you rent temporarily.
Your body is a physical thing that contains you. Your are not your body. It is actually just a result of circumstance, the luck of the draw. You can control how your body will navigate through this world, but you cannot control the ways people will read it, label it and judge it.
15. Re-think selfies.
Every-time you post a selfie, a little voice inside your head will say, “This is so vain. Why am I doing this?”
But who cares. You’re feeling good today and you should not feel
guilty for filling a fraction of the internet with your beautiful face.
16. You can’t use tradition or any preconceived notions as a measurement of success.
Push yourself to be creative and to take risks. You are 20 years old. You will never be more resilient than you are in this very moment. Now is the time to make mistakes and learn from them.
17. Accepting other people’s opinions of you only fuels their false sense of entitlement.
It is nobody’s responsibility but your’s to determine the areas of yourself that need improvement.
18. It is good to have expectations of friends, but having too many can be anti-social.
Expecting your friends to be kind or reliable is one thing. Expecting one friend to always be funny, available, positive, uplifting and dependable is inhuman. You have different friends for different purposes (not to say that your friends are simply a means) and none of them will ever be perfect. Accept them as they are.
19. If you can make jokes at your own-expense, you are headed in the right direction.
It’s a small victory, being able to laugh at yourself.
20. You will not peak in high-school.
One day, you will be grateful for being a late bloomer. There was a time when you thought that who you were in high school was life-defining. Only three years later you have an entirely new conception of yourself, a new social network and a different lens through which you see the world. Nothing is permanent, just keep on keep’n on.