Being with someone in the military, especially if you’re someone that has had nothing to do with it in your own life, is a completely different, unpredictable ball game than any of your past relationships. At first you may think it’ll be like a fairytale. Your hero coming home to you while you’re holding a sign and wearing a white dress and everything is perfect. Well I hate to burst that bubble for you but that’s just not reality.
I’m in love with someone in the military and our first six months in a relationship she was deployed. There’s so much that I learned but here’s simply a taste of what I’ve learned and taken away from our relationship.
1. There are going to be things they can’t tell you.
You have to realize that it isn’t anything personal. It’s their job and honestly it might be better if you don’t know. For your sanity if nothing else.
2. When they’re home it’s going to be really weird.
You’re so used to being alone and doing your own thing everyday. Now all of a sudden you have someone with you. It’s amazing, don’t get me wrong, but it takes some adjusting. Just know that it take some adjusting for them too.
3. The honeymoon phase doesn’t last.
You may expect to be in that puppy love phase for a while but your relationship emotionally and mentally may already be past that. There’s nothing wrong with that either, it shows how much you two have grown and matured.
4. You may not like the people they’re with.
Especially if they openly tell you the stories about some of their friends cheating on their significant others. The fact they are telling you these stories should show you that they think differently.
5. It’s going to suck being alone at first.
Eventually, though, you will learn to embrace it and take some time for yourself.
6. Technology is the greatest thing ever.
We are so lucky to have what we have. I have to admit though I have been glued to my phone and sometimes that took away from what I was doing in the present. But it was worth it to me because you never know what could come across a screen.
7. You will feel so proud to tell people what your significant other is doing.
There is real pride in knowing that he or she is fighting for our freedom. You will never get tired of sharing it.
8. Not all your friends are going to understand.
What you’re going through is completely different and you can’t blame them. Let them be there for you and don’t hold it against them.
9. Hearing about other relationships will be hard.
You are going to get annoyed when friends complain about not seeing their boyfriend or girlfriend for three days. Or if they are complaining about a dumb fight. Like I said, they don’t really understand. Let it go.
10. You’ll get into your own dumb fights.
Maybe they’re about trust, maybe about attitude, or really who knows. Then there’s going to be that point during the argument when you realize what the hell is the point of fighting when life is so short.
11. Never go to bed or hang up without saying I love you.
It’s important. Just do it.
12. You’ll almost be okay during the deployment.
Okay is a strong word for it, honestly, but you’ll get into a schedule with your life and the phone calls. You’ll find a way to make this your new normal.
13. There will be no better feeling than seeing them again.
It is the best feeling in the world knowing that they have landed safely state side and you are only moments away from having them in your arms.