Omg guys everyone is getting engaged.
But wait. No they aren’t. It just seems that way on Facebook. Whenever you see an engagement announcement, you are probably overcome with many emotions no matter who the person is and how close you are with them. You might feel happy for them. You might feel love because LOVE IS ALL AROUND. You might feel alone because you also feel you’re going to be alone forever. You might feel anxious because when are you going to get engaged? You might feel annoyed because omg some engagement announcements are sooo annoying. You might feel jealous because UMM you JUST broke up like 2 years ago! Or you might feel jealous because why didn’t your guy propose to you like that? Can you go back in time and make sure he plans a photog to be there when he pops the question? SO MANY ENGAGEMENTS. SO MANY FEELINGS.
But for the majority of us, these feelings remain the same — all over the place.
Here are 50 thoughts you may have when a random Facebook friend gets engaged:
1. Oh look, another one bites the dust.
2. Do I like the ring picture?
3. Or the “engaged” update?
4. Or do I like both?
5. No, not yet.
6. You haven’t talked to this person in years.
7. I wonder if I’ll be invited to the wedding.
8. Wait, why would I be invited to this wedding?
9. How the fuck does this person have so many likes on their update already?
10. Where are these people coming from?
11. Seriously, do people just like every engagement status they see?
12. There is nothing personal about a Facebook like anymore is there.
13. I mean, was there ever?
14. Do I like her ring?
16. But why?
17. I don’t know.
18. Can I actually see myself wearing something like that?
19. I wonder how much it weighs.
20. I wonder how much it costs.
21. How can you tell what’s cheap from what’s not cheap?
22. I DON’T UNDERSTAND. SOMEONE EXPLAIN. THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME.
23. How many engaged people do I know now?
24. Will I ever get engaged?
25. Probably not.
27. Do I even want to get engaged?
28. Like ever?
29. Or right now?
30. Or any time soon?
31. Is now the time I’m supposed to be thinking about getting engaged?
32. Is it now normal for people younger than me to start getting engaged?
33. Is it normal for me not to want to get engaged any time soon?
34. Okay, how many people do I know that aren’t engaged?
35. How many people do I know that are absolutely no where near getting engaged?
36. Wait. They have HOW many likes now?!??
37. Alright, what does the guy look like.
38. Is he hot?
39. I have an irrational fear that all hot guys are either married, getting married, or are assholes who can’t even say the word marriage in their 20s.
40. How is everyone at such different stages in their life, but we are all the same age.
41. HOLY SHIT. Seriously, how many likes is this person going to get on this update?
42. I wonder how many likes I would get.
43. Would this person even like my update?
44. Do I even care?
45. By the time I get engaged will people even be using Facebook?
46. Omg, dumbest question ever. OF COURSE THEY WILL. ~*Facebook 4 lyfe*~
47. I’m going to be alone forever.
48. Which is fine because I can’t even afford a wedding right now.
49. How does someone even afford a wedding ever?
50. Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries.