We haven’t talked about it yet but I keep quiet by deluding myself into thinking its because we don’t have to.
Your friends have warned me not to break your heart. My friends have warned you not to break mine.
You’ve told me that you don’t even want to know what your life would be like without me. God knows I feel the same way about you.
We say that we’re good for each other; I’ve never questioned whether or not that’s true. You open me up, I balance you out. There have been bumps along the way, but every great relationship has had some.
I don’t think we’ve ever had a fight. Sure, there have been disagreements or arguments, but nothing we weren’t both immediately sorry about. We’re really good about communicating, and that’s one of the million things that I love about you.
I don’t doubt that you love me, and I know you don’t doubt whether I love you back.
I only doubt that we’ve been quiet about this because we’re on the same page.
We’ve been careful, I can tell. Careful about talking about our relationship in the future tense, careful about discussing our five year plans – making the presence of our relationship within them an ambiguity – careful about dropping hints that we might want to stay together, worried the other might not be on the same page.
So let me say this once, and cross my fingers that you feel the same way. I thought about taking a fifth year, but I knew it would only be to give us more time. I can’t make that sacrifice, and I’m sure you understand. I don’t want to be in a relationship that can’t survive a 90-mile distance, a one-year difference. It is going to be hard, we are going to struggle, but I want us to try.
I’m not asking for a trial period, “special arrangements,” or a break – just continuing to love each other as much as we have been for the past year.
To be absolutely clear, you’re in my five-year plan. You always have been. I only hope that I’m in yours too.