So many people think that being likeable is a feature someone on a cloud, smoking a pipe, programs you with before the stork drops you to your mum’s and dad’s.
Luckily for all of us, storks have better things to do, there’s no guy smoking his pipe up there, and becoming liked is something that you can’t really control, since people have their own mechanisms of going through life, and of filtering what works with their mojo. BUT. There is a but.
I have written down a list of 15 secrets that every person with empathy and common sense should be doing in order to attract people with the same quality.
You know, your vibe attracts your tribe.
1. Ask questions.
The biggest mistake you can make is when you are afraid to ask questions. When you are afraid to look dumb. Stupid. Incapable of getting things right from starters. The world needs people that don’t take failure as something bad. What the world needs is a bunch of people that want to fail, want to look stupid when they don’t know something, and people that understand that the only key to becoming good at something is by learning. And what teaches you that better than falling seven times and getting up eight?
2. Be genuine.
Accepting your flaws and being aware of them as much as you are of your qualities. That makes your strong, independent and not afraid to get yourself out there. People will always be attracted to those who are basically invincible in front of others.
3. Don’t practice judgement.
If you want others to like you, try not to slip into the criticism pit. Criticism is good as long as it is constructive for you and the way you can develop. Everyone is free to do whatever they feel like and what they please, even though at times it is quite difficult to accept. Having an open mind is always a good idea!
3. Don’t seek attention.
People who are comfortable and secure in their own skin never seek for validation on the outside. They learn by hitting rock bottom and not repeating the same mistake twice.
4. Be consistent.
If you ever thought that being all over the place will make you more likeable by others, then you’re in for a surprise. To be consistent is about being reliable and making sure that no matter how many mood swings you have, things will not turn out into a mud pond.
5. Use positive body language.
Being aware that your body position, your tone of voice, and your facial expressions send a lot of signals out there about you. Positive body language can make people feel more comfortable when they are around you.
People usually mirror what they see and feel from the person that is standing in front of them. Always smile during a conversation and you will receive it back.
7. Know when to open up.
It’s hard to always make sure when it’s the right time to share, or overshare personal details, without getting a big fat label on your forehead. Guide yourself by temper and common sense.
8. Balance passion and fun.
People always gravitate around those who know how to balance having a passion and working on it to grow it bigger, and enjoying the ride.
9. Look them in the eye.
Any conversation can be maintained interesting if you look the other person in the eye, it’s assign you want to speak your mind, that you have nothing to hide, and of pure confidence.
Sometimes it’s good to listen, instead of talking and blabbering all over the place. The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your undivided attention by being present in the moment.
11. Be empathetic.
As you learn how to listen, build empathy brick by brick and focus on more than just the words, but the emotions that person is trying to send to you. You will also pick up clues that will help you into building a stronger connection.
12. Don’t give advice that you can’t follow yourself.
There’s nothing more rude and horrible than people who give advice just to feel better about themselves.
13. Be positive.
Everyone likes to be around someone who is positive, energetic and bubbly, and not someone who is a merchant of doom and gloom.
14. Take responsibility.
If you make a mistake, admit it. There’s nothing better than a person who knows how to say sorry.