1. The first cut is the deepest in the matters of the heart.
2. You feel like you’ll never love again.
3. Your heart prays and begs them to come back, while your mind stubbornly refuses to speak to them again.
4. You miss his shape in the bed sheets, his warmth at night, the soft morning kisses, the beach.
5. You cry often in the shower.
6. You cry in the car, in the morning, in the evening, on the street, at the movies, on park benches, at the gym, at your therapist.
7. Or, you lose the ability to cry at all for a terribly long time.
8. You feel so angry your body could snap and turn into fireworks.
9. You feel uneasy with depression creeping in and unspoken emotions filling your throat.
10. You start pouring. At first, with dramatic fury, afterwards with sarcasm, finally with bitterness.
11. You google him five times a day. Alternatively, you stalk him online all day and night.
12. You crash at friends’ houses to avoid the misery of your own bed, still dressed in the sheets he last slept in.
13. You eat. And you feel comforted from it.
14. You start going out a bit. You meet familiar faces. You smile.
15. The sun is brighter, the wind is more soothing, the rain is so calming. You start feeling life pumping back in your body.
16. You meditate on past events and take notes from a distance.
17. You start looking after yourself again, mind and body.
18. You hear a song. It’s the song you always danced together to. Or the one that played when you both got high the first time. The one that could’ve played at our wedding.
19. You spiral into unlimited pain, realizing you cannot take him out of your system.
20. You go on Facebook. He has a new girlfriend.
21. You cry for weeks.
22. You alienate some friends and phonies from your life.
23. Which is good essentially because that makes only the good people stick around.
24. One will. This will be your closest friend or, alternatively, a complete stranger. You start to understand it was not your fault.
25. You still miss him most of the nights.
26. But you are finally learning to live without him.