1. You’re still conflicted whether to go out on a Friday night with your BFF’s or stay home again and re-read your chat history with him.
2. You feel uneasy whenever someone suggests you should start dating again.
3. You pretend you don’t care about him whenever a mutual friend brings him up, but you call your bestie immediately after they leave to tell them all about it.
4. You drink. More than you should.
5. You’re secretly trying to impress him, still. You post a lot of sexy selfies to draw attention, music you know he enjoys, and life motto’s inspired by Sylvia Plath post heartbreak.
6. You neglect important events or work, because you can’t focus on anything else but the fact he left you.
7. You keep listening to the same records he gave you, and you’re at the third re-read of Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind Of Girl.
8. You suddenly burst into tears whenever someone mentions couples night out.
9. You’re losing weight, because you think you’re not attractive anymore.
10. You deactivate your Facebook profile for one month. You stop picking up calls.
11. You oversleep.
12. You pretend you’re not dying inside when you see him posting updates about his new relationship – but you secretly stalk his new girlfriend allover the internet.
13. You kiss strangers in the bar – even though you’re not sure you like them.
14. You become cranky, self-centered and act like a terrible listener.
15. You work out more than it’s reasonable.
16. You forget to pay your bills. A third time in 4 months.
17. You call in sick a lot, pretending you have a super rare malfunction – such as unidentified bacteria in your liver.
18. You refuse to go to parties where he’ll be because you don’t feel prepared to face him and his new date.
19. You scare your Tinder prospects away by telling each one of them how bitter your last relationship left you and Oh is there any love left for me out there?
20. You get into exhaustive debates about dating, breakups, even divorce, with every single person you meet that somehow alludes to a separation.