I am a huge fan and advocate of online dating. We live in an era where it’s possible to do virtually everything online, including searching for sex partners. I’ve found amongst my friends however, that there is still a stigma around online dating, especially for younger women.
One of the big reasons my friends are hesitant to try it initially is because of the fear of “creeps” online. While most of the men I’ve encountered are perfectly normal, sometimes I do get hilarious and strange messages. These are some of my favorite initial messages from men that I had never talked to before, all of which made me laugh.
1. “Hi there! I’m curious if you think a cumshot – facial would be degrading or a turn on. I think you seem like an open person.”
When “I think you seem like an open person” actually means “I think you seem like you’d let me cum on your face”
Can you imagine if this was the first thing a man said to you in person?
2. You definitely have to have kids when you’re older and ready, you have to pass along those beauty genes.
Good god you’re already talking about our kids? I’m just on this site to get laid buddy.
3. “hey, so do you have a job? I need a woman who can support me while I play video games all day”
Oh well isn’t this just every woman’s fantasy. Please, sign me up!
4. “I love how all you young girls are bi..must be a “phase””
Because, you know, I find it really attractive when people question my sexual orientation…
5. “my gf is out of town and i am so bored. I was wondering if you would be interested in talking and see what it can lead to. I know it is wrong but i am just way too bored :D”
Oh boy! Nothing gets me hornier than a cheating douche bag!
6. “Ive never hooked up with a Jewish girl before.. Its always been kinda taboo since most girls only like Jewish guys. Your into non-jewish guys Im assuming?”
Pro-tip: Opening a dialogue with false stereotypes about the girl’s religion will not get you laid.
7. “I know this will be an odd message haha … but I’ll just be upfront about it. I’m working in your area for a few month. And a drunken conversation came up between a few of the guys I work with. We’re interested in sharing a girl. Basically a gangbang type scenario haha Please dont judge :P”
Unreal. I got a cordial invitation to be the centre of gangbang? Sometimes I regret that I never replied to this message.
8. “Would it be rude if I tell you I’d ravish you with the force of 1000 Greek gods?”
Would it be rude if I tell you I’d like to go to dinner and a movie first? And like, maybe learn your name…
9. “I am a closet submissive…there i said it :). It feels great to finally admit my true feelings and desires and feel excited to share my more feminine and submissive side if myself to an amazing woman. I began wearing panties a few weeks ago and have abstained from sex for 8 months until I find the right woman to make this revelation to.”
HASHTAG TOO SOON. This is literally the first thing this man said to me. What? Don’t get me wrong – I’m happy this man is exploring his sexuality, but it’s a bit intense for a first greeting.
10. “I’m not trying to impress you or anything but … I am the Batman”
Let me just squeeze into my Catwoman suit and let’s have super-hero role play sex.