1. The Nothing.
The guy who doesn’t have a bio. Zilch, nada, zero. Either he assumes his shirtless mirror selfie is enough to get you to swipe right or he just has literally nothing interesting to share. Most likely the latter.
2. The Snapchat Aficionado.
The guy who only puts his snapchat name in his bio. It’s hard to tell if he should have just left it blank. Are you supposed to add him? Does this guy friend any random person that does? Are you going to get an unsolicited dick pic at 2 am? It’s a mystery.
3. The Size Matters Guy.
The guy who puts his height in his bio. It’s somehow always either 6’2” or 6’3.” Bonus points if he adds “because apparently that matters?” after.
4. The 420.
The guy who proclaims he’s 420 friendly along with a string of orange leaf emojis. He makes it clear he’s only looking for someone to get high with, which makes it easy to decide how to swipe.
5. The Rambler.
The guy who writes a long run-on block of text in his bio. He’s determined to use all provided space. If you’re brave, you read the whole thing. It includes a brief rundown of his life story, every hobby he’s mildly interested in, and all his favorite TV shows. If you’re like the rest of us, you skim it or just ignore it altogether.
6. The Accidental Flirt.
The guy who says “If I super like it’s probably by accident.” It gets complicated if you’re one of the people he super liked. Are you supposed to assume his finger slipped or are you the one girl he actually did it to on purpose? There’s no way to tell.
7. The Dog Owner.
The guy who not just includes his dog in all his pictures but says you can play with Fiddo in his bio. This one is tempting. I like dogs, you like dogs, we all like dogs. Unfortunately, that’s this guy’s only draw.
8. The Age Corrector.
The guy who says “I don’t know why it says I’m 18, I’m actually 24.” Look, all you have to do is go into Facebook and change your birthday from the year you made up when you were 12 and wanted an account. I’m pretty incompetent but even I can figure that out. It makes you wonder if this guy still uses Internet Explorer or he’s just really lazy.
9. The Adventurer.
The guy who says he’s “looking for someone to go on adventures with.” Does he want to go hiking or does he want to go to an abandoned parking lot and get high? Unclear.
10. The Might As Well Guy.
The guy who writes “You’ve read this far, you might as well swipe right” at the end of his bio. It’s questionable logic at best. Also, you may or may not have had to read only three sentences to get there.