This Is The Part About Being A Stay-At-Home Mom Nobody Talks About (But Everyone Should)

Red-haired mother holds a baby on her lap while a young child next to her touches a tablet computer
Alexander Dummer / Unsplash

I’ve been a stay at home mom since March of 2015. Paisley was nearly one and I was overjoyed to be her ultimate caretaker. I remember thinking, “Yay, no more babysitters or inconvenienced grandparents. No more holding back the tears as I drive to work with an empty car seat in the rearview.” I remember feeling blessed beyond measure to have a teammate dedicated to support us financially. I remember the first month of complete bliss; settling into a new routine, and making sure everything was in order. It was a dream, my dream. But I could have never imagined what happened next.

What people don’t tell you, and what you can’t possibly prepare yourself for is the lack of fulfillment. You’re probably thinking “Oh my gosh, she actually said it…” or “Wow, what a heartless bitch”, either way, here we are. I’ve said it. I am a stay at home mom and my family alone does not fulfill me. Now, why is this such a scary thing to say out loud? Why is it that our husbands and children are not enough to fill our cup? Why is it that society has deemed this realization to be frowned upon? I’m pulling back the curtain and sharing my truth, being a stay at home mom is HARD. Nobody can fathom the loneliness and self doubt that creeps in more often than not. I can’t count how many times I’ve asked myself, “Am I doing the right thing?”

My job is 24 hours, 7 days a week with zero sick days. I’m giving more than I take, and I’m doing it without the appreciation my family is capable of giving. Ultimately, I serve my family faithfully and pray for the best.

This season of my life has been the most challenging but also the most rewarding, I swear! I haven’t missed a beat, and I’ve learned more about who I am as a human being than I ever thought I could by year 25. I have created the most special bond with my child and I am so grateful to be her whole world. My husband and I have an unbreakable dynamic and I am madly in love with the life we’ve created. I believe that I’m in the right place at the right time and I have faith that God is molding me into who I’m supposed to be.

As a mother, you are the foundation of a much larger unit.

You cannot lose sight of who you are as a singular human being. In order for everything to move smoothly and stay strong, your cup must be filled. As a stay at home mom, your family cannot fill that cup, only you can. You MUST put time aside for yourself. Whether that be reading in the corner of the nearest coffee shop, taking a long hot bath after everyone’s in bed, grocery shopping on your own or my personal favorite, drowning in blankets with Pretty Woman and a drink in my hand. Steal that time and make it happen,and dig deep to find your passion(s) in life. What are you good at? What makes you feel invincible? I’ve found my release in writing. It challenges me to push my personal boundaries and I think that I’m a better person for it.

Promise me that you’ll marinate in this season of life and take it all as it comes, good and bad. You will be stronger, more patient and a better version of yourself when there are no longer meals to be prepared, no more messes to be cleaned or asses to be wiped.

Fill your own cup. Soak up the good days and have a drink on the bad days. Take a shower! Remember that none of us know what we’re doing. Love your husband/wife. Love your children. But most importantly love yourself. TC mark

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