1. You always dreamed of this perfect office job with your cute little desk and your cute little pictures and business cards and a stapler and everything office depot has in stock. But in reality, you have a cramped desk that’s barely big enough for a few files and you’re facing a wall. Fun.
2. You couldn’t wait to have a set schedule and work Monday through Friday 9-5, but now that you’re working the ole 9-5 grind you do nothing but count down the days until the next holiday you have off. Labor Day get here please, a three day weekend is calling my name!
3. You start missing your old job. Yeah you hated that sketchy little pizza place on main street but you yearningly dream of the days you use to be able to work four hours a day and call that a “full shift”.
4. You fill your free time at work by going to indeedjobs.com and looking for other job opportunities only to realize you qualify for none.
5. Wednesdays. A meaningless day in the middle of the week no more! Wednesdays hold all the meaning in the world to you now! Your week is half way over, two more days and the weekend is yours to conquer…or snooze away.
6. You slowly but surely start turning into an old person — your regular bed time is now between 8:30 and 9:30pm, you pick up boring hobbies such as crocheting and Saturday night bingo at the local VFW.
7. You realize now more than ever that you are NOT a people person. Your customers make you want to rip your hair out, and more than anything you hate making phone calls to them. My name is Sam/Samantha, if you call me Pam/Amanda one more time I’m going to come through this phone and rip your jugular out. These thoughts run through your mind even though all the while you have the fakest smile plastered across your face.
8. You stare out the window fondly remembering what the sun feels like as you then glance down at your pasty arms. You’re too tired at night to go tanning and by the time you get off work it’s no longer hot enough to get a tan. Bummer.
9. You swear your hips are getting wider by the day from sitting in this god awful office chair in which you have devoured all the office candy in one sitting and slammed down multiple mountain dews. I mean something has to get you through the day right? So much for that figure you always wanted.
10. Eight months in and you’ve now accepted the fact that this is adulthood, all the wonderful adolescent sun filled years when you dreamed of being a grown-up have led to this: a dull life at a boring desk job. But hey, at least the paycheck is decent.