Not that long ago, I was in your position. I loved him with every fiber of my being, but it wasn’t enough. Maybe I loved him too much, maybe not enough.
He was an incredible person, I know that, but he wasn’t ready for me. There are many things I could say about the perfection of our relationship and the honest love we shared, but it’s in the past now, and I’d be lying to you if I said we were meant to be. I’m a distant memory to him, never to be brought up again.
It crushed my soul to think of him with you, I don’t hate you, but I don’t like you either. My Love, my first love, is now yours. Every single intimate moment we shared, every kiss, hug, and laugh, is now gone. It took me months to get over him; even writing this, my heart is breaking. I didn’t get out of bed for weeks. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t breathe without him. I couldn’t move on. I still can’t. I love him. But now it’s your turn.
A few words of advice I have for you:
His laugh is the most powerful thing about him. It echoes in every room he was in — it’s beautiful. Cherish it, because it’s not something you will hear often.
His favorite flavor of chips is salt and vinegar. Ms. Vickie’s is the best because he likes the crunch. He likes to eat it with his moms special chip dip. But be warned, the onion gives you bad breath.
He has family issues. Dark ones. But they are amazing human beings. He will want to visit them all the time because his family is his priority. It’s one of the best things about him, his loyalty. They will take you under their wing and treat you as one of their own because they love you.
He loves naps. Please, for the love of god, let him nap.
His friends are important to him. He grew up with the same group of people from kindergarten. Although he’s outgrown them, remind him to check in on them, because they are vital to his happiness.
He likes to cook. He sometimes is awful and puts sriracha sauce on everything, but he will make you a sandwich or eggs and bacon whenever you request it.
He doesn’t show much affection. Not because he doesn’t love you, but because he didn’t grow up with much affection. It is rare for him to hold your hand in public, but when he does, the warmth you will feel in your chest is like no other.
He’s blunt. He will tell you it to you straight. It may come off as rude, but he means it with love.
He insists on driving, not because he thinks you’re terrible, but because he loves cars. He’s obsessed with everything about them, so learn to love them just as much as he does.
But most importantly, he loves you. He can’t quite say it, but he does. Your smile will be his happiness and your eyes will be his favorite color. He will love the color of your hair and the way it smells and the scent of your perfume.
I wouldn’t say my feelings towards him are harsh now. I loved him. He was my first love, my first boyfriend, my first everything. I will always love him, I will always miss his goofy smile and the way he used to jump on my bed and greet me with giggles. But that chapter of my life is over, and it’s opening for you.
My advice to you is: Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Don’t expect more than he can give, and don’t be intimidated by the shadow he casts over you. You are incredibly lucky — cherish that.