A few days ago I received a text from a friend asking how I was doing. As soon as I saw it, I remembered this person sent me an email with the same purpose almost a month ago that I’d forgotten to respond to.
I was immediately flooded with guilt. How rude of me! Someone takes time out of their day to check in on me and I don’t even respond.
But this is nothing new.
It often takes me days — sometimes even weeks — to respond to peoples’ messages. Even those from my good friends and people I care about deeply.
I could try to tell you I’m a “bad texter,” but I’m not. It’s quite a simple task. And even though I often tack a “Sorry I’ve been so busy…” onto the beginning of my overdue message, I know I had at least 5 free minutes within the past week to type out a response or return a call.
The truth is, relationships aren’t that high on my priority list. I love and care for my boyfriend and parents dearly, but other than them, I find relationships draining.
I have an inspired mission I’m focused on, a business I’m building, and a self I’m working on knowing and loving more and more each day.
Those are the things I currently value most. And I need vitality to do all of those things, so health becomes a priority by default.
But outside of that?
I couldn’t care less about keeping up with family traditions and gossip. I often skip out on social commitments to stay home and work on my business or self. I’d rather pay for someone’s Uber home from the airport than drive two hours to go pick them up.
Because I don’t care? Not quite.
To any of my friends and family reading this, please don’t take it personally. I care about you deeply. I love you long time.
It’s just not where I’m most inspired to dedicate my time and energy. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but days go by pretty fast and we don’t have time for everything. Especially the things we’re not inspired to do.
And, most importantly, I’d be doing more than the two of us a disservice if I dishonored my own values and bumped you up on my priority list when really that’s not what my soul desires.
You don’t need to feel guilty for honoring your values.
I’ve spent a lot of time and energy consumed with the guilt of not being a “great friend.”
When I got that text the other day and the guilt of “oh no, I forgot to answer yet again” came rushing in, I realized fully what I’ve known for a while: there is no need to feel guilty for honoring your highest values.
We stand to provide the most value to the world when we are living in alignment with our own highest values. That’s when we’re most inspired to take action and give it our all. It’s when we’re living out our purpose — the reason we were put on this earth.
Some people were put on this earth to be excellent friends and companions. We are so blessed to have these people in the world.
But, I’m not one of those people… and that is perfectly okay!
It is for you too.
There is no right and wrong when it comes to values.
The people who value relationships will project their values onto you and tell you to work less and spend more time with your family and friends. The people who value business or wealth will encourage you to cut off everyone, lock yourself in your bedroom, and build your empire if you really want to be successful.
Objectively, one is no better than the other. It just comes down to what aligns most with your values.
Get to know your values and live them.
You don’t have to be what anyone else wants you to be. That’s no recipe for a fulfilling life. You need to be who you are on a soul level. Your truest self.
Yes, it will piss some people off.
Yes, it will require sacrifices.
Yes, people will tell you you’re wrong.
But any hate you get for living your authentic truth is only coming from people who haven’t yet learned to live theirs.
And one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is full permission to own and honor your personal highest values. Please, give yourself that gift today.