This Is How You’re Going To Move On

On the first night after he said goodbye, you’re gonna cry a lot. The emotions and pains will just keep gushing out from you in form of tears, they will flow freely and you won’t be able to help it. You’ll feel numb, sick, tired and weak to get on with living your normal life, all you can do is think of him and how he is gone and possibly not return so you cry. You repeat that steps over and over again then you’ll get tired because who doesn’t.

You’re gonna pick yourself up from the bed. From the mess that you’re in and try to go back to your rhythm. You will try and might make some few progress like crying a little less or starting to eat or get busy, but then something will always come up to bring you back to the pain of reality. Then you’re back at the business of crying again. Of wallowing in sadness and making yourself looking miserable.

But it’s okay (of course, it’s not) but would be, so you try again.

Do another shot at picking yourself up, brushing up the inner bruises brought about by the recent unfortunate event- the breakup- and again, you’ll make progress. But again just a little, more than what you’ve accomplished last time you tried but that’s fine. Because there’s not much you can do about it, or so you think.

Your mind will run on a lot of different scenes, playing out one thing after another. Then you’ll be torn between choosing which one to do or whether you would do it, or not. Will you send him a message, if yes, is it an angry message or will you beg for him to come back. But then, after thinking about it, you’ll find it unfair to insist yourself on him when he wants to leave so the next thought would be would you wait on someone new to come to your life or would you actively seek one, if you’ll do the latter, how would you do it. There’s tons of choices really, but you do what is best for you at the situation you’re in and what would keep your mind at peace.

While you’re at it, time passes. Days, weeks and months came that he’s not part of your life.

And you live.

You went through a difficult phase of trying to pick yourself up, it becomes normal. You notice that the urge to send him a message get less every day, and you no longer wait for his message to come up. You start to think of him in passing and your thoughts were no longer stuck in him. Instead he just became part of all the other things that run on your mind, he no longer holds a big chunk of your brain and your heart. And you start to feel okay- your mood lightens, you no longer feel sick or weak, no extra baggage of pains or emotions.

By then you knew, you have moved on from him and ready to start anew and get on with your life.