Today I’m Giving You Up

Today, I finally realized that you’re no good for me. That I am just the person you are settling with for the meantime while you’re waiting for that awesome person to return or finally come into your life. I fill the void in your heart, yes, but anyone can easily occupy that blank space so my case is nothing special.

I’m not the person you are looking to spend your time with for long. Not the one you will take home to meet your family. I won’t be the reason why you’ll turn your back from smoking and drinking, which ate most of your free time.

I’m done trying to please you just so you can appreciate me. I’m tired of sleeping late because late is all the time you’ve had for me.

I’m fed up with repeatedly breaking my own heart.

Crying my lungs out for an empty cause because we have nothing anyway. You gave me nothing to hold onto. And that’s actually quite genius of you. Whatever pain I’m going through right now, it’s on me. Not on you. You made it clear at the start of this – we’re not friends, but we’re not in a relationship either. We’re in the middle, nothing more, nothing less.

That’s why today, I’m giving up. I’m giving up all the hopes I have that one day, you’ll start to see me as the love of your life. That things will turn around and what we have right now will escalate into something better – that we’ll reach the next level. It has now dawned on me that this is the most the two of us can have. Our relationship will start to plateau from here.

And before you make any more further damage. The kind that will make me numb for months or years. Before the pain you cause start to hammer into my chest. Before the wrecking ball starts to crash into my head. Before the quicksand engulfs me down into a hole of desperation, I’ve decided to give up.

I’m giving you up, for me.