7 Things You Need To Understand About Dating Someone With Anxiety
By Sam Maracic
1. Anxiety isn’t always rational, and chances are your partner is hyper-aware of that fact. However, if reason alone were the quick fix to curbing anxiety, there wouldn’t much cause for this article (or the many others like it). Unfortunately, logic won’t singlehandedly help your significant other to see through tangible symptoms of panic. It’s an ongoing process they are learning to work through. So, if you’re with them, your choosing to learn too.
2. For some, anxiety will seem to develop out of nowhere, while for others certain situations or “triggers” may be to blame. Though triggers are a very real aspect of anxiety, they are far from the same for everyone. While driving over a bridge may cause panic in one person, a crowded room may do the same for another.
3. No matter the situation, the last thing a person with anxiety wants to hear is to “get over it”. Not only will lines like this downplay and invalidate their experience, but they will also leave your partner feeling isolated and misunderstood. At its most basic level anxiety promotes and exacerbates fear. Rather than adding to their stress be a beacon of support by simply listening and providing a sense of safety in times of dis-ease.
4. The important thing to remember is that ultimately, no one wants to be defined by their anxiety. Is it a part of their story? Absolutely. However, so are the 100 other incredible qualities they possess. Or else, why would you be dating them?
5. Judgement or lack of compassion for your partner’s experience will at the very least cause a rift in your relationship. It may even be a dealbreaker.
6. Having an anxious mind can be both mentally and physically draining. So, sometimes he or she will crave quiet time to recharge. This has nothing to do with the person they are with, it is simply their way of maintaining a sense of grounding. A partner’s willingness to join in on that time or respect their significant other’s desire for it will speak volumes.
7. While anxiety can be a challenge, it also provides the opportunity for positive growth. From self-love to empathy, anxiety informs people in some of the deepest and rawest ways possible, allowing them to live as better friends and more loving partners.